Saturday's Email of the Week: Namaste

Saturday's Email of the Week

Hello Saturday. Where did you come from? The week has melted away and left me with a weekend of activities to look forward to. Tonight I will be going to a local twitter, beer-tasting event where I will perhaps get a little networking in. Or at least try a new beer or two. Not too many though, as I have to take the girls to a birthday party tomorrow and have been told not to show up useless. I have to handle a glue gun, so therefore need to be on.

Hmm, hopefully I won't glue my fingers together...

So, this week I share a short video that struck my fancy. A friend sent me this and it just tickled my yoga bones. I have been lapse in my practice over the last six months, but returned to the mat recently. This felt like an affirmation that I am on the right path with re-embracing a yogic balance (in a weird kind of way). The scary thing is that I completely know and get everything she says. Does that make me a freak? Ha! Maybe, but I am okay with that!

I am off to the gym now for the kids' yoga class! Maybe grab a glass of wheat grass after (probably NOT!).

Namaste my friends! Have a blessed weekend.  ☺

I'm in the money!

   Ok, I am just going to share a little secret here. I am so excited! I have another small, wee little job. I had a meeting this morning and it looks like some computer work is coming my way. Change is good (ohm!) and this will fill a few more hours of my week. The challenge will be to multi-task a wee smidge more, but baby steps I can do. It will have me at the computer, versus the paint brush, but I am already familiar here in the world wide web. I cannot really say much more about it right now unfortunately. It is too fresh a concept and I have to wrap my head around it a little more. I have to let the newness sink in; "Let it marinate", as a friend likes to say. Suffice it to say that my newest paying gig will have a dribble more money coming in (and NO I don't have to disrobe or anything crazy like that to do it!), which in the long run enables me to stay home a while longer with my darling babies. All about the kiddos, right! I wish you a prosperous Wednesday. I have some quick research to do, then off to let the world's troubles slide off my back onto the yoga mat. Peace to you...

Advanced Pose

    I stretched out on the floor with my eyes closed. Her voice gently tickled and encouraged its way into my psyche. A huge yawn escaped me and she reflected that this was our bodies' way of cooling down the brain (hot head. Ha!).

   "It also serves to give us more energy", she advised. With limbs the weight of oak trees and  an attempt to stretch arms to the skies, I had to agree. That yawn must have given me some energy, as I could not lift them overhead at day break when little people were curling in to bed with me. Now my leaves unfurled with passion. I was a mighty tree with roots reaching down into the earth, as other swaying trees tried to distract my touch with the heavens.

   Breath. Advance pose for those that want to try it; curl the corners of your lips upwards as well. It's called a smile and she can always get one from me. She is beautiful. A red-tipped flame we all flock to for strength and approval. "So what", she says at our off days. We are here, now, and present. That is my present. Yes, to me. To breath and take on the advanced poses with that tricky little action called a smile. For so long I could not accomplish that tricky trick. Today, I forced myself to drag into the studio, hoping not to fall asleep in savasana. A little piece of me knew better. My yawn and closed eyes opened to a new day. I had energy and life and that little thing called a smile to carry forth into the rest of my day.

Namaste to you, my teacher V. Namaste to my fellow yoginis who teach me so much about life on and off the mat (and introduced me to a new Japanese restaurant today. Yum!). Namaste to me, for being present and showing up on the mat and sharing my smile with the world. Peace unto you.

ardha chandrasana - Centre yourself. Forget about mice

   The postal carrier brought pleasant surprises to my world today. I rifled past bills, tax forms and donations requests and found two envelopes that contained special greetings. Not one, but two! Lucky enough to have crossed the thoughts of some special someone, but then lo and behold a second. Lovely! And surprises they were.

   The first was not actually that surprising. My daughter's birthday is next week, so a birthday card came in the mail for her. The special thing about it though was that a little extra was put in the envelope to put a smile on her face; stickers. The way to a five-year old's heart. The card was just perfect though, as it almost even looks like her. My little fairy angel  that I love with all my heart is going to be five. Sigh. How do you make time stand still? Some days I wonder and wish. She is growing up, regardless of anything I can do or say. I am happy, but ...

   The next item was much more of a surprise. I recognized the sender, but had no idea of the contents. When I opened the envelope I found this;

   Absolutely hilarious! I love yoga, as many of you know, and of course have kitties that wander through my world. So this special little treat put a smile on my face that was needed. I am going to wash a little girl in a moment, but spent the afternoon washing her car-seat. Yup, the plague is back. More mobile barfing. My favourite. NOT! She is recovering after sleeping half the afternoon away. The soon-to-be birthday girl got to escape to swimming lessons with friends and dinner for them was a restaurant. Sick kid and I dined on noodle soup. Oh well.

  So a big Thank You is shouted out to my friends who think of us today.  Now I am going to go and see what wonderful poses I can contort my feline companions into. Do you think they will stay still long enough to breathe them  into a full lotus? Here kitty, kitty, kitty

for all that changes, we stay the same

   So, after a few days being tied to the house I have been set free for a day. Little R is riding the motrin wave and flying high. In fact, she was up at 6:30 this morning. Very unseasonable for a little girl who usually peeks out from under her covers closer to 7:45 ish. My girls appreciate sleeping in. I like that, as so do I. She cuddled for a little bit, then tired of trying to lie still and quiet, as Mommy pretended to drift back to sleep. It didn't really happen. She did eventually head off in search of the TV though. Bad Mommy tucked back under snuggly warm blankets and tried to remember where I was in my dream. Ack, day has begun...
   When I did eventually rise, the sun was streaming in through the windows. It looked like a beautiful morning, that deserved embracing. Sniff. Motivation just not up to snuff yet though. After dosing everyone with their morning meds, we headed out to face the day. Despite complaints from R that she wanted another medicine and tears that she wasn't getting it, we left the house. I expected her to attach herself to my leg at Daycare, after spending the last two days with me, but she entered the room with her regular smiles. Kisses goodbye and the day was mine!
   The day is mine. Sigh. Now the clouds have reformed. Oh well. I saw an old friend at my new yoga class this morning, but missed my other class terribly. Hugs to you Randolph! A nice treat was tea and cookies afterwards though. It was a lovely social setting that I appreciated. Wellspring truly is a magical place. I pray you don't, but if you ever have need it is a wonderfully supporting place. At times I have wondered whether it truly was the place for me, but any time I question I get a resounding "YES" from any and all. The people that walk through their doors have seen such adversity and yes, I am one. I have lived through a cancer journey. I may not have had the disease myself, but as caregiver I have permanaently been painted as well. For some reason it has been weighing with me again this last little while. Oh gray skies! Just blow away already! I need some sunshine in my soul. Pleasant activities in the next little while should help. Dinner with friends after swimming, a playdate tomorrow and birthday party on the weekend. Smiling children tend to rub off on you. Here's hoping
   I am anticipating responses, so send out big thank yous to "me", R and L. Knowing that friends are out there and caring makes the day a little brighter.
Namaste

Me

   A self-indulgence kind of day. Really more like week. Since hanging my paint brush up, I have not done a thing. Barely even accomplished groceries (dire straights on the weekend as we ran out of milk!). This morning I went out for coffee with a friend and if anyone has ever done coffee with me before, you know it takes a while! The coffee is the excuse, but the conversation is the key. I really do love my coffee. Such wonderful thoughts drift through my head and the air in a coffee shop. Can you blame it on the brew? Probably not, but it could help with its warmth and caffeine to wake up the brain. Set it on a new level. Yup, I like it.
   I follow my coffee date with more me time this aft. Embrace me in the warmth of an ohm at my weekly yoga class. I don't know what I would have done without it over the years. Stands me up, bends me over and makes life flow again. I walk out taller on most days. ahh. The day will wind down with a newer monthly activity; drumming. This is a surprising activity that I have fallen in love with as well. Meditation on the skin of a drum and the edge of singing bowl. Shake away all the shadows with rain sticks and maracas (well shakers of one sort or another). Drift me out and make me smile.
   So I have peace on today. My day of me. I am trying to just be plain old happy about it. No guilt parades allowed! Leave your shoulds at the door. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I get windows.

Wednesday Wanderings

   The day winds down and it was good. Somewhat a surprise, as there was not a huge game plan in place at the beginning of the day. Even more especially as I was awake at 4 in the morning pleading with my brain to go back to sleep. That is the second night this week I have looked at the clock to see 4:00 burning into my brain. A quick trip to the bathroom did not coax my thoughts back to dream land and away from such nasty thoughts as a full bladder. I know that some of you do this too, but I just do not enjoy trying to shut down my brain and knowing that the clock is ticking off minutes into hours. I know that the morning will see me grumpy and moving slower, but somehow I cannot convince the ole bod to win out over consciousness. Perhaps sleep will win over tonight. Fingers crossed and toes too!

   So why was my day a good one, you ask? Well, it proved to be productive again. While I love to relax, I find it hard not feeling guilty when I am not keeping busy. Being a single Mother there is only one adult in my household to accomplish all the tasks set before me. Yes, some are the mundane laundry, meal prep, clean the toilet bowls, etc, but there are other things that stretch my abilities. What you ask? I do not enjoy mopping floors, but the children force this issue with spilled milk on a regular basis. My kitchen counters are my dumping grounds for paperwork and I just cannot seem to ever get to the bottom of those piles. I know that you have some little corner of your home that is just as bad as mine, if not worse. Well, maybe it isn't that bad, but I have seen some of your clutter piles and they aren't pretty! hmmph.

   Ok, off topic. What was I talking about? Hmmm... Oh, my day! Geez, it must have been real exciting if I can still get myself worked up over my weak points. Oh well, perhaps you might still have a wee bit of interest waning. Shopping! I love to shop. Not all days, but often household purchases put a smile on my face. Today I conquered the wet world at my door step and met it head on. I could not take the wet socks any more.I  broke down and   bought a little mat for the back door. Hurray!

   Wait! Come back! I did more! I bought mitts, paint and a lamp. I replaced the hat I lost last week and decided that the rug at Home Sense just had to be tried out in my living room. I even bought a birthday present for T's birthday next month. I picked up a prescription and gas. Wow, this all sounds just sooo exciting. Don't you think? Me too! With the satisfaction come from some of my new house finds, I even took the sacrificial first step into my next home renovation project. I started pulling down some of the wallpaper in the hallway! There is no going back now (it is an atrocious gray blue, green and peach underneath). You shall find me bitching about this upcoming project next week, I'm sure. I still have to pick a colour and buy paint, but I am almost there.

   Give me one more minute, because the best is yet to come! No patience today, I swear! Well, today was Wednesday and that is generally my favourite day of the week, as it is my yoga day. We had been on a break for the last two weeks, so I got to see all my favourite yoginis today and gather up some smiles and hugs. That put a bigger smile on my face and reminded me that I had in fact come up with a plan at around 4:30 for my day. Oops, well there was still time. I headed the car into a parking space on the street and went inside the former Galleria Mall. It has now been converted into a variety of schools and businesses, with a few shops to boot. My destination was the continuing education department of Western University. Perhaps my tale today will have some of you shaking your heads at my decision, but I have signed up for a creative writing class "Writing in the Digital Age". It is an online class starting next week. I am excited to see what it might offer and want to send a little shout out to a certain friend for inspiring me yet again. I think you know who you are.

   So there, that is my icing on the cake moment. Yes, a long and convoluted way of coming out with a wee bit of newsy bits, but that is just the mood I am in! And with that, I think I will trundle off to bed in hopes that I will sleep the night through. Be well my friends.

Wednesday - Yoga for the soul

I went to do the last of my gardening for Michelle today. I really did not do too terribly much out in the garden, to be fair, but its immediate need was winding to a close. The frost in the air has signalled the end of active gardening for the season. The outside world tasks change to leaf raking, putting away of hoses and garden ornaments, planting spring bulbs and pulling up summer ones. My season of gardening is done.

It is a heavy feel. I made a difference for Michelle and offered what I could. She appreciated the help. It was a precious gift. So where do I go from here? I have been watching Murray and feeling for him in his waning days with the love of his life. Now she is gone. Now he is alone and must accept that so that he can move on to the next stage of his life. It is nowhere near as easy to do as the writing of it may suggest. While I was visiting with Murray I kept on saying "This is hard work." It is the hardest work one could ever imagine having to do. It is physically, emotionally, socially, and psychologically exhausting. Anyone who has ever touched loss in an intimate way would probably have more to add to this, but for those who haven't it is a start. I have to stop though. This is Murray's journey. Murray must make this trek on his own. I am giving him emotions through my experience and that does not do him justice or ultimately myself. I was reminded this afternoon that I still need to take care of me. At two years into the loss of my beloved husband and partner, I was told I am still fresh in my grief. I still have far to go. How can that be?

Life is quite the journey with many lessons to learn. My lesson today was that I do matter. I mattered to Michelle for a brief while, so that she could savour her garden one last time. I mattered to Murray, so that I could give him more time with Michelle and sharing of stories both good and bad. I matter to Randolph, who seems to think that I am a worthy person and is happy to see that I am beginning to believe it. I matter to my children, who run with smiles and screaming "Mommy!" with joy when I come to pick them up from daycare. I know that I could add many more to the list and it is a good thing. The last person I will add today though is a woman who used to attend yoga with me over a year ago. She was recovering from cancer treatments and was doing well, but had other health concerns at the time. She started into my class again today. After class she walked over to me and asked when we had seen each other last. I was reminded again of how I touch people as she shared that she had gone through another bout of cancer completely unrelated to the first. She more or less pushed and diagnosed some of it herself. She knew something was wrong with her and praised yoga and its ability to get oneself in touch with one's body as helping her to do this. Whether she believed in the benefits of yoga before, she overwhelming believes know. And she walked over to me and had to share her story with me. I know her, but only through once a week yoga from over a year ago. It touched me that she felt the need to share with me. I must mean something to her too. Not the world, but just a little piece of it. It makes me smile. It is good.