Rich Habits, Rich Life

Rich Habits, Rich Life: The Power of "Me We Do Be" Habits Rituals and Routines, by Randall Bell, PhD, © 2016, Owners Manual Press

Randall Bell has travelled the world and seen many things, good and bad. He has a PhD in Human Organizational Systems and an MBA from UCLA, not to mention 25 years worth of experience consulting on tragedies around the world, like the 9/11 World Trade Center disaster, the Bikini Atoll nuclear testing, the Heaven's Gate mass suicides and the OJ Simpson case. He is also an avid volunteer with youth groups and homeless people, not to mention a married father of four. All of these experiences add up to a life that could leave a man jaded about people and the world. That is not the case with Bell though.

In Rich Habits, Rich Life, Bell sets out the four cornerstones of positive thoughts and actions which make for a rich life. He labels them; Me, We, Do Be—but they more than just simple words. These cornerstones underpin a way of thinking which can help to transform a life and bring a greater sense of joy to it.

Me: something to believe - personal habits
We: something to love - relationship building
Do: something to do - improve productivity
Be: someone to become - work towards the future

Throughout Bell's book he offers examples of how people he has come across have made choices in their lives. These personal choices have often lead to positive thinking and action, and in turn, a better place for the individual in the world, frequently despite huge hardships. Many sidebars site statistics highlighting rich habits and how they benefit a life. For example, Rich Habit #14 is Be Kind and bar graphs back up his words "Those who tend to smile and speak positively are 43.5% more likely to be happy. If that doesn't cut it, they are also up to 46% more likely to be millionaires." Seems like an easy thing to do to move your life in a more positive direction, doesn't it?

At the end of each cornerstone chapter he gives concrete examples of things you can do to improve your own Me We Do Be habits to connect you to a higher power. Many of them are easy steps, like "When a negative thought comes, think of something positive" for a Me habit, "Sit down to a family dinner _ times per week" for a We habit, "Make the bed every morning" for a Do habit, and "Spend _ minutes planning out your day" for a Be habit. None of the tasks are especially onerous, but Bell suggests that taking the time to add positive thoughts and actions can make all the difference to giving you a richer and more fulfilling life.

Heck, I already eat dinner with my children every night, get a physical every year, and am working on writing a book. That means I might be on my way to a decent life already. Of course, there are a few areas that could still use some work and Bell has some persuasive arguments to that end. I might have to keep this book handy to keep my inspiration up when spirits flag.

Thank you to Ascot Media for sending me a copy of Bell's forthcoming book to review.

Retail Shopping = Christmas ♥

Christmas is entering my world. I needed some retail therapy today, so started my Christmas shopping. Yup, it has begun. And it was good!

So, I have had Christmas carols running through my head (compliments of other blog posts) and my eye is scanning the room for Christmas Decor placement already (Snow globe on the new table or would that be better for the stuffed Santa?). I have a neighbour across the road with their light display up and keep thinking that I should get on that too, before I am doing it in the snow. I don't have the giant blowup snow globe to display, but a few lights & giant Christmas balls add a little flair to the yard. I bet the kids would flip for a Santa display on the roof, but it ain't going to happen!

Plus, I have been thinking safety. I will be putting the snow tires on the old clunker to keep all my passengers safe in the van again this winter. Winter coats, hats and mitts have been out for a few weeks, but I haven't broken down and put on My winter boots yet. Heck, I saw people in sandals earlier this week! Anyway, I couldn't find a new pair and last years boots left the soles of my feet a little on the damp side. More shopping!!

Just so that I can get you all in the Christmas spirit too, I thought I would share a video that I bet none of you have ever seen before. It is a familiar song, but with a twist. Enjoy!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Thoughtfulness

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am feeling a far cry better this week than I was last Saturday. Hoo boy, but that strep infection knocked me on my behind in a big way. Very nasty stuff, and no I do not have the pleasure to have picked it up by sucking face with some poor slob that would pass me those kinds of cooties. Many of you kind people did inquire nicely as to my health too, and for that I thank you. On Monday, I couldn't lift a case of pop. Tuesday, my brain was still firing on only half its cylinders (making writing for a living pretty painful!), but by the end of the week it was coming back to me. Well, I guess you can be the judge of my mental state though. What say you?

Ok, who asked you anyway!!

So one of the lovely people that tried to cheer me up was Penny, from over at Alias Jinksy. Last week, I shared a joke about the heat in Texas (or insert whatever hot place you might call home). She responded by sharing this beautiful picture that she crafted in my email inbox. I was touched and love this beautiful rainy day scene. You made my day with a gift of thoughtfulness Penny!

I also got a video from my trusty source Bill that made me laugh out loud. He is always so thoughtful to fill my inbox with a vast array of emails to peruse. Well, this week I have needed the laughs so... After feeling like everything coming out of my mouth was dumb, dumb and dumber, this was right up my alley. Oi Vey, but my brain got lost in the slow shuffle! While this doesn't improve my brain functioning, a little laughter doesn't hurt either. 

And just to let you know, I won't be responding to any comments until later this evening or tomorrow, as the girls and I went to their father's aunt's trailer for a visit. Just a short road trip, but overnight this year! Yippee, off to Ipperwash!

Sunday Reflective Moments

Sometimes we are where we need to be.

Where are you at in your life right now? Have you just come through crisis, change or a period of inactivity? Is life looking rosy, full of questions, bleak or too challenging to go on? We all have days like that. Sometimes these periods last days, weeks months or just seem to never end. Everything that we go through is a process meant to teach us something though. I am learning how to stand on my own two feet right now. I am learning how to reach out to the world around me. I am learning that in reaching out, I am not weak, but rather stronger for the asking. This is a hard lesson that seems to be long in process. The lessons remind me that I am fallible, but that does not mean that I am a bad person. I remarked last week that in failure, we learn our lessons best. It is humbling, but holds a truth that I struggle with. This is where I need to be right now though. I am processing where I have walked, the steps of the journey and the possibilities of where I am heading.  I need to know these things. Overall, I need to remember that tomorrow is a new day.

Cleaning the path for light

    So thus far in my day I have attacked my task scheduler with vigor. I picked up a few needed groceries. The bill man got his dues. I jumped on the sturdy vacuum (no, not broom you nasty people!) and sucked up any new crumbs that were added over the last day and a half. My arch nemesis the mop had his way with me and danced me throughout my world. Almost worked up a sweat with that last one! I even swept the hunks and ashes from the hearth, with thoughts of a flame to set backdrop for my evening. I am feeling good. I visited my friends at Threading Light and smiled with gratitude that I am able to state I have friends and people that care about me. Life is a pretty good thing. Tonight there will be conversation, smiles, nibblies and bevvies to sip at. I can think of others that wish me well and am truly grateful for the path that has brought me here. For all the stresses I carry with me, today I thank you who offer your shoulders to lean on, hands to pull me up and smiles to encourage the dance. The snow that blows outside my window covers up the grass that hinted at spring yesterday, but the sunshine remains shining in my heart.

Be well

Positive? hugs

   How do you manage to stay positive? I visit beautiful places like GardenMama and see a steadfast belief in the human spirit. I admire it. I wonder if there is always such kind thoughts in the author's mind or if she ever slips. I have had a busy week. I have done well and racked up loving kindness points in tending to sick children. Leaving the doctor's office today though the spectre of Children's Aid loomed in my mind. I wondered if it was somehow my fault that R hurt her arm. It seemed that it was such a faraway voice that reminded me that I was not even in the room when she fell. That alone caused twinges of guilt "Could I have prevented it if she had been in my sight?" I cannot be there for them all of the time. It is physically impossible and the thought of it just sets me up for failure. It seemed such a familiar pattern though to blame me for the ills of the week. Could I have done better?  Maybe. Perhaps.

   By Fridays end T and R are abed, sleep inching through their consciousness. R has no visual effects from her ordeal and would probably be far stretched to even think of her doctor visits as an ordeal. T's sick day on Wednesday provided her with interesting stories to tell her friends at nap-time, not demons to plague her. They both gave me hugs and kisses as I tucked them under their sheets. I reminded them that Daddy is with them always and the proof is that they exist. He is a part of them and all they have to do is hug one another to feel his arms around them. Beautiful thoughts. T also offered the smiling thoughts that I was there too and I carried Daddy too. I do. Beautiful girl. Beautiful man. They are my positive I guess. Just reach out for my hug and recieve my soul song. Thank you baby.

Wednesday - Yoga for the soul

I went to do the last of my gardening for Michelle today. I really did not do too terribly much out in the garden, to be fair, but its immediate need was winding to a close. The frost in the air has signalled the end of active gardening for the season. The outside world tasks change to leaf raking, putting away of hoses and garden ornaments, planting spring bulbs and pulling up summer ones. My season of gardening is done.

It is a heavy feel. I made a difference for Michelle and offered what I could. She appreciated the help. It was a precious gift. So where do I go from here? I have been watching Murray and feeling for him in his waning days with the love of his life. Now she is gone. Now he is alone and must accept that so that he can move on to the next stage of his life. It is nowhere near as easy to do as the writing of it may suggest. While I was visiting with Murray I kept on saying "This is hard work." It is the hardest work one could ever imagine having to do. It is physically, emotionally, socially, and psychologically exhausting. Anyone who has ever touched loss in an intimate way would probably have more to add to this, but for those who haven't it is a start. I have to stop though. This is Murray's journey. Murray must make this trek on his own. I am giving him emotions through my experience and that does not do him justice or ultimately myself. I was reminded this afternoon that I still need to take care of me. At two years into the loss of my beloved husband and partner, I was told I am still fresh in my grief. I still have far to go. How can that be?

Life is quite the journey with many lessons to learn. My lesson today was that I do matter. I mattered to Michelle for a brief while, so that she could savour her garden one last time. I mattered to Murray, so that I could give him more time with Michelle and sharing of stories both good and bad. I matter to Randolph, who seems to think that I am a worthy person and is happy to see that I am beginning to believe it. I matter to my children, who run with smiles and screaming "Mommy!" with joy when I come to pick them up from daycare. I know that I could add many more to the list and it is a good thing. The last person I will add today though is a woman who used to attend yoga with me over a year ago. She was recovering from cancer treatments and was doing well, but had other health concerns at the time. She started into my class again today. After class she walked over to me and asked when we had seen each other last. I was reminded again of how I touch people as she shared that she had gone through another bout of cancer completely unrelated to the first. She more or less pushed and diagnosed some of it herself. She knew something was wrong with her and praised yoga and its ability to get oneself in touch with one's body as helping her to do this. Whether she believed in the benefits of yoga before, she overwhelming believes know. And she walked over to me and had to share her story with me. I know her, but only through once a week yoga from over a year ago. It touched me that she felt the need to share with me. I must mean something to her too. Not the world, but just a little piece of it. It makes me smile. It is good.