It's 3 o'clock and Daddy's Nowhere to be Found

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and you are wrenched from sleep by the distinct sound of your child whimpering from their room. You dash down the hall, only to find you’re too late and not only have a child to soothe, but a mess to clean up. This is the start of a potentially long day. We’ve all been there, and it doesn’t shape up into anything pleasant, but what about if Daddy is nowhere to be found?

If you are a single parent with another child to tend to, and start your day like this, then life might be a wee bit miserable for the day. And while it might not bring much comfort, you are not alone. According to Statistics Canada’s 2006 records, 15.9 % of all families in Canada were lone-parent families. That’s 1,414,060 single-parent families within our borders[1]. There’s a lot of potential for a logistical nightmare, if those families tending to an ailing child, also have to provide for other children as well. With brains racing through the previously planned activities of the day, such as shuttling children to school, or getting to that big game, what do you do with your sick child that has their head hung in the toilet?

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[1] 2006 Census – Statistics Canada

Well in my case, I hold the garbage can for my little girl's head, and pray that the bug doesn't spread beyond her. It is one thing to have an ill child, but to follow one sick child with another, or even to fall pray to illness myself, makes life more than tricky. I don't want to go down that road. I am hoping for blue skies in my tomorrow, but we shall see.

Today I begged a favour from a neighbour to watch the poor pasty girl and ran the other to school, then hunkered down for the day. I managed to still be productive between bouts of dry heaves, by working on this article (see beginning of it above) for the class that I had to cancel this evening. Laundry got done, but the icky smells in the house made that a priority, so I don't claim to be a superhero there. I kept a water glass filled and held hair out of the line of fire. I was here to help, but was mostly helpless to stop the ills of the day. It had to run its course.

Now I am tired. My sleep was interrupted and the flow of my day was far from ideal. My child was ill and I sat back and watched, offering what little support I could. I feel melancholy and alone at the end of this day. I have supports, but these are the days when I miss the normal that "you" have. You two parent families. You single parent families that can call the missing parent back into the fold for crisis. You are blessed and I hope you cherish that. I survived, but am reminded of my loss again. Damn lonely day.

I am going to lay my weary body to bed. Kiss your children. Tell your partner you love them. Let's all hold the world a little closer in our hearts today.Tomorrow is a new day.

The Snake Bit Me

I just rolled out of bed. It is noonish.
   yawwnnnn....

Before you punish me with an abusive tirade on my slothfulness, I will add that I had only returned to bed around 10 o'clock. That after a night spent holding long, golden locks out of the line of fire over a toilet bowl. Oh, and also developing a dainty little blister on my thumb from trying to play plumber at 4am. I don't know if it is me that just doesn't have the knack with a snake (or toilet auger as the packaging states) or me that is an idiot to self-diagnose toilet issues, or me with a God complex that thinks she can do anything, that is at fault here. Apparently it doesn't matter, as the one thing I can do is laundry and the pile was quite large this morning. sigh... Full of towels used to mop the floor, splattered rugs and bedskirts and all the sheets off of another bed that was soaked through with pee. That announcement came at 7:30am, after I had finally fallen asleep at 6:30 praying that my daughter would not wake and splatter me with ... ugh never mind

So I am tired and wondering why the world seems to be pushing me so hard. I am not a plumber or doctor, roofer or general contractor (other issues that need tending to in my house- don't ask). It seems that I am being asked to step up to the plate to decide what I want to be though. My daughter will recover from her night of woe, but my money tree is quaking in fear as I tally the expenditures that are all imminent. I think that I might have to break down and push myself harder than I would like right about now. The world is pushing for action. An honest to goodness full-time job has been something I have been trying to avoid, but I feel that I have lost my battle. 

house 3 - Mama 0

damn

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P.S. Over a quick beer with my neighbour to get the run-down on which plants my girls need to water while she is away, I was reminded of the fact that another neighbour is a retired plumber. Oh. Yeah. Right. And another is a contractor. Really? Hunh. It looks like I shall be wandering the neighbourhood this weekend with a cooler full of adult bevereages and blank cheques inquiring if anyone has a moment to help a friend in need...

Grounded

Grounded  by sick child and rain.

~~~

Well, the garage sale went on in the rain, but without me. My attempts to bring forth sunshine failed miserably. As I was getting out of the shower, I was presented with a mess at the bathroom door. Yuck! I know you don't want details C (I recall that is your major yuck factor). So, instead of dutifully cleaning my house from top to bottom, I am playing along at Six Word Saturday. I hope your day brings rainbows. I think a mop is calling my name. Excuse me...

ardha chandrasana - Centre yourself. Forget about mice

   The postal carrier brought pleasant surprises to my world today. I rifled past bills, tax forms and donations requests and found two envelopes that contained special greetings. Not one, but two! Lucky enough to have crossed the thoughts of some special someone, but then lo and behold a second. Lovely! And surprises they were.

   The first was not actually that surprising. My daughter's birthday is next week, so a birthday card came in the mail for her. The special thing about it though was that a little extra was put in the envelope to put a smile on her face; stickers. The way to a five-year old's heart. The card was just perfect though, as it almost even looks like her. My little fairy angel  that I love with all my heart is going to be five. Sigh. How do you make time stand still? Some days I wonder and wish. She is growing up, regardless of anything I can do or say. I am happy, but ...

   The next item was much more of a surprise. I recognized the sender, but had no idea of the contents. When I opened the envelope I found this;

   Absolutely hilarious! I love yoga, as many of you know, and of course have kitties that wander through my world. So this special little treat put a smile on my face that was needed. I am going to wash a little girl in a moment, but spent the afternoon washing her car-seat. Yup, the plague is back. More mobile barfing. My favourite. NOT! She is recovering after sleeping half the afternoon away. The soon-to-be birthday girl got to escape to swimming lessons with friends and dinner for them was a restaurant. Sick kid and I dined on noodle soup. Oh well.

  So a big Thank You is shouted out to my friends who think of us today.  Now I am going to go and see what wonderful poses I can contort my feline companions into. Do you think they will stay still long enough to breathe them  into a full lotus? Here kitty, kitty, kitty

Face the list

   Well, I had hopes for today, but plans dashed again. Ah, who I am kidding? I dropped the girls at daycare and went to stare into a coffee cup at my favourite coffee shop. I made a list of things that I should/could be doing now and in the near future. I then promptly threw my handy dandy memo pad back into my purse and took my coffee to go see some artist friends. Screw lists, I would watch artists in action. I arrived  and immediately started winging about the fact that my cat has decided to test my strength of self again by peeing in the upstairs bathroom. Worse, that she peed on my daughter's sweater yesterday, which I discovered when I was picking her up at the end of the day. Gross. Truly, it was not even me that noticed it, but another parent that was picking up her son and thought that maybe he had an accident. Nope, it was my daughter. Smelling of cat pee. Poor thing stunk. Yuck. As I sat and got sympathy for my woes and suggestions of what to do (they are both experienced at the cat pee issue), my phone rang. It never rings. Except when the daycare calls. Which is who it was. Sigh...

   So I have picked up my sad little girlie and tucked her into the couch. She is topped up with Motrin and will hopefully feel better when she wakes. I am playing a little avoidance, by sitting at the computer, but seem to be coming to the end of my post. So alas, I shall go work on striking a few things off my list that was created this morning;

• clean the house
• pay bills

Perhaps tomorrow will be a new day...

The Plan; Nixed!

   Today has not gone according to plan. Funny how that happens when children inhabit your world. In the pre-dawn hours a cry rang out. I was instantly awake, but lay still for a moment. Perhaps it was a dream. No, there it goes again. Tears. The tears of an ear infection. I have heard them many a time before. I can tell by looking at her, listening to her. Yes, Dr Mom dons her hat again. A hug and a kiss. The best medicine. Not enough this morning. A second trip brought Motrin. Go on the pain relief, hopefully go back to sleep train of thought. Tuck back into bed, just about asleep... and again. Water. I know she is not feeling well and I tell myself this as I stumble to the kitchen to get a sippy cup filled with vodka water. Maybe sleep? Nope. Just warm enough to start drifting off again and she whimpers again. I cringe and try to escape under the blankets further. I am sending reiki, therapeutic touch, rainbows and sleeping aids at her from under my pillow, but I hear her open her bedroom door crying. "Make it stop", I whimper to myself. Alas, not to be. I call to her and she finally comes and crawls into bed with me. Kisses and snuggles and finally I win. She drifts off to sleep. I too edge back towards dream land, but am rudely jarred back by the alarm. Grrrr. Snooze. The alarm is insistent though. I have windows being installed this morning. My man proclaimed he wold be here by 8am. The alarm reminds me of this yet again. Finally, I accept my fate. I carefully slide my arm out from under my sleeping baby and head to the shower. She is good and asleep now. Looks blissful. Jealousy will get me nowhere though. Coffee will.

   So I clean the sleep out of my eyes and slip into my jeans. My big girl blearily stumbles into the bathroom with one eye open.

  "Morning," I state.

   Yes, it is. Milk gets poured, followed by the integral coffee. The minutes tick and I wonder if our agreed upon time was 8:30, not eight. I could have got a few minutes more sleep! R materializes in the kitchen rubbing groggily at her face. Time to call the doctor. I have been anticipating this since last week. An appointment is set and I check the clock again. Now I have to be to the doctor by 10:15 and have my eldest dropped off at daycare beforehand. Still no windows.  At 9:00 I call my guy. Are we still on, I postulate. I suggest that I thought we had a date for 8am. He is on his way and asks what time it is. He sounds surprised to hear it is already nine, but promises to be there in 15-20 minutes. Hrmph. Starting to count minutes now. Kids into snow suits and we are out the day as he pulls in. He jokes that he won't steal my flat screen TV and I laugh. Yeah, right. It is a hand-me-down old-school model. Don't steal the kids toys. I am off. One kid down and we arrive at the doctor's with a few minutes to spare. No big deal, as we wait for half an hour to get in to see her. Luckily my "sick" child entertains everyone in the waiting room with her stuffies and hellos. Yeah, I really needed that emergency appointment. Paranoid Mommy moment? Nah, I am justified by another raging ear infection. Good times. We drop off her prescription, pick up money for windows, then pick up her prescription hoping to still find my house standing and maybe with new windows in place. The guys are still there. They are almost done. And you know what? The windows look great!

Give me a break

   The spectre of that evil monster, that icky trickster, the dreaded and ever lurking COLD has struck again. Yes, a cold has descended upon our house. This is not new, as last weekend I was snuffling and snortelling. My kleenex box has not gone far from my side this week. In fact I have blown through a box or two in various rooms of my house. I even had a friend bring me some back-up packs when we went for coffee earlier in the week. Still, I soldier on. A little eucalyptus oil rubbed into the chest and perhaps a night cap to seal the deal. Good to go. My cold hasn't slowed me down. I can tick off book club, yoga, drum circle, shopping, swimming lessons, laundry and of course house cleaning to my list of activities of the week.

   Now I sit in between loads of ever-present laundry, despairing of being stopped in my tracks. Yup, I drew the line. I can push me as much as I want, but I managed to infect the darling angels under my roof as well. Bad Mommy. That has been the chant around here the last few days from my eldest. "Bad Mommy! Bad Mommy!" has resonated off my flittering frame. She is lucky that my skin has thickened up over the last little while. Even if it is in jest (or perhaps not?), a short time ago this would have had me headed to the kleenex box, but not for the cold I suffer through this week. The tenderness and loving kindnesses I have allowed myself and accepted from others has changed my outlook. I might still have my days (I am a single parent of two under 5 years. Give me a break!), but I try to add more smiles than tears to their plates. So this morning I debated again whether I would pack myself and the girls into the van and head State-side to visit friends. I really wanted to visit, but had a confab with Brad and decided that it was probably better to let the girls have a low-key day. After their busy week, they needed some down-time too. Nothing like enjoying your own space and walking at your own pace versus plunking into the van for a 3-hour tour, trekking across the border and then racing after bigger kids all weekend. It takes enough out of us on a good day. We are not on our a-game, so why push it? So we are planning on pizza and movies tonight and are making up for it with a visit from grandma tomorrow. Hopefully good vibes will bring good germs back our way. And for now another load of laundry calls...

Change of plans for Day 3

There might be a slight change in final deadline in my present project. My littlest girl was up last night throwing up. Once just after bedtime and then again at 5:30 AM. She was fine this morning, but banned from daycare for the day. Alas, alack-a-day, what can I say? I still managed to clean the walls this morning, in between setting up craft projects. We just had macaroni and cheese (her absolute favourite). When she goes down for nap, I will paint the ceiling. I don't anticipate the walls will see paint today now. Hopefully tomorrow...
Ciao

How to schedule in a sick child a few days before Christmas

   So all my complaining this weekend only helped to sour my poor little girl. The countdown is progressing towards an imminent visitor and poor T has been struck down a nasty bug. She is couch bound today, with the  portable DVD player set up for her. It is the only plus for the girls when they are sick. As she couldn't move much farther than the bathroom this am, I am house-bound as well. R never made it out either. Small blessings are nap time.
   There are only a few days left before Christmas. My shopping is nearly complete, but additional items keep jumping into my mind (the babysitter, another bday present for a party tomorrow evening, Christmas groceries). I have lost a day today, so the next 2 days will be even more hectic. Perhaps I should work on wrapping presents, since I cannot go anywhere anyway.  At least we got some more sugar cookies made this morning for Santa to add to the peanut butter balls and fruit morsels we made yesterday. Yes, poor blog, you suffer today, but that is as much as I have time for now.
   Adios from Christmas Dora on the loop!

Positive? hugs

   How do you manage to stay positive? I visit beautiful places like GardenMama and see a steadfast belief in the human spirit. I admire it. I wonder if there is always such kind thoughts in the author's mind or if she ever slips. I have had a busy week. I have done well and racked up loving kindness points in tending to sick children. Leaving the doctor's office today though the spectre of Children's Aid loomed in my mind. I wondered if it was somehow my fault that R hurt her arm. It seemed that it was such a faraway voice that reminded me that I was not even in the room when she fell. That alone caused twinges of guilt "Could I have prevented it if she had been in my sight?" I cannot be there for them all of the time. It is physically impossible and the thought of it just sets me up for failure. It seemed such a familiar pattern though to blame me for the ills of the week. Could I have done better?  Maybe. Perhaps.

   By Fridays end T and R are abed, sleep inching through their consciousness. R has no visual effects from her ordeal and would probably be far stretched to even think of her doctor visits as an ordeal. T's sick day on Wednesday provided her with interesting stories to tell her friends at nap-time, not demons to plague her. They both gave me hugs and kisses as I tucked them under their sheets. I reminded them that Daddy is with them always and the proof is that they exist. He is a part of them and all they have to do is hug one another to feel his arms around them. Beautiful thoughts. T also offered the smiling thoughts that I was there too and I carried Daddy too. I do. Beautiful girl. Beautiful man. They are my positive I guess. Just reach out for my hug and recieve my soul song. Thank you baby.

Sick Baby

   So my day started out fine and normal, as noted. Special day this as I have thrown in many comments today. Field trip was cancelled, but not overly surprising. I managed to get some shopping done, raked some leaves, ate lunch and talked to someone about sharing a ride to my therapeutic touch training that starts tomorrow. I was even offered some temporary work for a few weeks. Life is good! I go to yoga, infuse about my TT and new book club that I have joined before class and slide in to relax. My phone rings half way through class. Never good. It is the daycare. Worse. They never call unless there is a problem. R has sprouted a fever. Ack! First thoughts, H1N1, followed swiftly by thoughts of the perfectly healthy 13-year old boy that died earlier this week from it. Panic!! I flew into daycare and the poor thing was flat out on their couch. She looked up and said "Mommy". Motrin helped to bring her fever down once we got home. She even ate some. I was redosing her just now though as the meds had worn off and her temp was spiking. Not a very lively girl. I suspect there won't be much sleep tonight, if her meds wear off in the middle of the night. My poor little girl. Sleep well and dream of cool blue refreshing waterfalls and gentle white snowflakes melting away your fever as they land on you. Sleep well world.