Saturday, February 19, 2011

Reworked Dreams

Starving
Drunken Corpses
Wandering shadows of men

I see you staring at yesterday
Streaks of obsession mold you
Leave you old - dead words

Your belonging is gone
Now imagined
A past dream

Today,  a gray face
Slashed fingers grasping
The coin has rolled away

Scabbed hearts
And flaccid minds
Are all that caress you now

Tomorrow
What means Tomorrow
-Heaven in a grave cold.

     ^^^
This poem was written many years ago. Re-reading it now, I would perhaps move words around, change them up or maybe even scrap it altogether. It was actually even a re-writing of another older poem that I had written entitled Tomorrow. I don't have the date on Tomorrow (I tended to put dates on poems even then with dreams of the legacy I would leave), but I believe it was written in 1992. Reworked Dreams was written in April, 1995.

I highlight it here today, as this was the first poem I had published. For me it was so exciting at the time. I guess it still is, although I have since read that the tome that it was published in was nothing more than a sham. I was young and goggle-eyed with thoughts of seeing my name in the printed form, and bought into their "competition". The National Library of Poetry seemed to publish everything that was sent to them though (regardless of merit I have since read), but the kicker was the buying of the book that it would appear in. Of course I bought a copy of Shadows and Light. I even got a notification that I was in the top 3% of entries, therefore receiving an Editor's Choice award. Wow!

The burst bubble didn't hurt that bad though. While it is disappointing that there wasn't any teeth behind their competitions, that amounted to nothing more than book promotions, the experience stayed with me. It helped to push me and keep me writing. I have a little book that has my poems in it written since as far back as 1991. I can see progression in my writing, but even better, can see that my muse has been with me for a long time. I still might not become a big, famous poet, but I can look back with pride in my will to create. For that is the heart of writing in my books.

I want to thank One Stop Poetry for the prompt today. They suggested telling them where we began our poetry career. I suspect that the stories of the myriad of poets that are out there hold some fascinating reading in themselves. My story started in my teens, but has carried through the years with encouragement from occasional writing contests, well-received poems for friends and family in greeting cards, my own personal drive to get the words running through my head down on paper, and of course my blog. It might not wow anybody, but getting this poem published was another huge affirmation for me that this was what I wanted to do. And I am doing it.

12 comments:

  1. ok, it's just you and me here, right?...I got poetry.commed as well, I only ate half the enchilada before I swallowed and got a clue...9 years has taught me much...your words are honest and I think it serves us well to rewind now and again...London, eh?...spent a month or so in your neck of the woods...I was learning how to spell snow, I got it...BRRRRRRRR

    Peace, hp

    thank you for stopping by

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  2. It is kind of a dark poem, 'Starving, drunken corpses, etc. Was that a difficult time of your life, in 1992?

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  3. @hp: yeah, had stars in my eyes, but I don't regret it. It is a lovely book that collects dust on my shelf, and it DOES have my name in it (I have the page bookmarked, so I can find it amongst the thousands of others). Glad to know I wasn't the only one out there. Thanks for stopping by hp.

    @Gigi Ann: Hi Gigi. I think that my eyes were openning to the world around me a little more. I was from a small town outside of Toronto, and at that point was wandering into the city alot more. In hindsight I can say that I was probably shocked my the people I saw living on the streets. I subsequently befriended a few of the sad souls I met scraping a living off of sidewalk alms. It was sad to me that people had to exist like that. I guess it still is.

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  4. I remember my first time in a big city, I could hardly believe my eyes. I hate being in the big cities even today, I hate seeing the things you describe in this poem. The poem makes so much more sense, now that I know the background. Thanks for sharing with this slow to catch on Gramma. ; )

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  5. @Gigi Ann: The fact that you are asking is enough to tell me that the poem could have used more polishing. :) Thank you so much for taking the time to return. And you know, there is something to be said for cities, but the darker underbelly of them has a sad face. Hugs Gramma!

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  6. "Streaks of obsession mold you"

    That's a great line. This is just really well done all the way through.

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  7. Ha! I got some poems "selected" for one of those as well...I was in highschool, and I remember asking Mr. Mitchell (remember him, so timid, glasses, red hair, skinny guy who rode the bus?)...he gently clued me in to the nature of the publication and I decided not to fork over the money for a copy of the book. But you know what? I kind of wish I had. Whatever the case, it *is* cool to have your work in a book. And if it inspired you to keep writing, even better!

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  8. I really enjoy things a bit on the dark side, so I thoroughly enjoyed this poem, Katherine. Well done!

    And thank you for sharing your beginning into poetry.

    Love how you said this....

    "I still might not become a big, famous poet, but I can look back with pride in my will to create. For that is the heart of writing in my books."

    You GO, girl!

    X

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  9. @Mama Zen: Well thanks MZ. I wrote it an awfully long time ago and would probably tell that girl to look for more rainbows now a days, but I was pretty affected by the ills of the world at that point.

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  10. @Me: I totally remember him. He was pretty geeky, but I liked him pretty good anyway. Nice of him to warn you. I am happy that I have the book anyway though. I submitted a poem the following year, but didn't buy the book. I was selected again and can lay claim to my poetry being a few anthologies now :)

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  11. @Ron: Whether it be good or bad, I still keep at it and that is what matters to me. I know some pieces aren't fabulous, but more and more of the pieces put smiles on my face. Sometimes I even re-read older pieces and surprise myself by how good I consider the pieces are.

    I think, "Did I really write that? Cool! That's actually pretty good." and can then smile my way through the rest of the day.

    You are always a joy when you stop by Ron. Thanks hon.
    xo

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  12. And I accidently deleted a comment by dear Mairmusic, but still managed to have the words tucked in the trash. I apologize profusely Marilynn!

    MM: nice to read a bit more about you and how you got to writing!

    and I thank you for stopping by and commenting Marilynn!

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