Saturday's Email of the Week: A Religious Debate

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am out of town today at a wedding. I should be up by now showering, doing hair and makeup & trying to convince the girls that they should let me do their hair as well. At least I should have Grandma to help me out, so maybe she can pull their hair into cute little piggies to set off their fancy dresses. I shall be pulling on a brand new dress with a set of pretty new shoes to go with. I would like to say I am a girlie girl, but this was my first new dress in about 13-14 years. My other fancy dress that has always been my stand-by staple was one I wore as a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. I figured it was time that I could do with a little fresh gussying up. Perhaps I will be able to have someone snap a picture or two so that I can share. Until then, I leave you with this week's email of the week. It came in early in the week and got a good snort from me. I hope you enjoy! Have a super weekend!

The Pope and The Rabbi


Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our faiths.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," said the rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews but I told him emphatically that we were staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine

*******************************

Chicken à la Lino Without You

The last bite of chicken lies
wet on the floor,
growing colder as
we throw barbed taunts,
defiant challenges
with our eyes.

Seconds tick by...
I bubble,
broiling up
like the
congealed mass
on yesterday's linoleum.

Fire burns bright
in indignation
"How could you do that?"
Dead poultry don't tell no tales.
Neither does your daughter.
And flung chicken makes me miss you even more.

There is a new poetry hangout in town by the name of d'Verse ~Poet's Pub. Tonight they are hosting Meeting  the Bar: Critique and Craft with a big theme, namely big topics, ie. death, life, grief, suffering, etc., but the suggestion is to come at it from a less than blatantly direct angle. The thrust of the night is to offer honest, helpful and informative critiques of other poets work. I read a few pieces and am going to explore a few more before hitting the hay, but thought I would add a poem of my own.

You tell me the theme. If you can't get it, that lets me know that more work is needed. I welcome your two cents worth. Thanks for visiting!

I Leave You with "Sunday"

I'll be headed out of town again this weekend. Strapping the girls onto the hood of my tractor and moseying on over to a wedding a few towns away. I might not get back here to write much more up, but I just wanted to say that I miss you all when I'm not around! My friends out there in the blogosphere are the best, most supportive lot around. And as I truly feel like you care just a smidgen about me and my two cents worth, I do try to make an effort. Therefore today, while I was getting my hair done (so that I'd be all dolled up for the wedding), I snuck in some writing. Yup, while I "processed" my pen scribbled across the pages of one of my journals to capture stories for you dear folk. I managed to get not one, but TWO chapters of my African tale written. That way, even if I don't get back here on Monday, you can still wander through Africa with me. I'll be back though and look forward to hearing what you think!

And so that this post is not too dull, I thought I should throw in a little something extra as well. I dug deep and came up with an ancient poem to share this evening, entitled :

Sunday

I escape to words today.

Small smile for others,

But gray eyes inside lay.

     The rain pours down...

Letters that I don't have to say

Written, not mailed

Away. Now,

     The thoughts poured down...

Looking through watery lids

Streaks cover the pane

Where a question breeds.

     A tear drops down...

Flies, Fishermen and Flights of Fancy

The days flew by, as dust wafted behind the land cruiser on our way South. A smile curved my lips when we reached the brilliant coast of Lake Malawi again. Oh, how I loved its azure shores. One day Eddie pointed out a dark cloud across the lake. It looked like smoke, but Eddie shook his head no. The hazy cloud that drifted on the horizon was in fact lake flies. Catherine and John had never seen them before, but Eddie remarked that they were edible and considered a delicacy by the locals when they swarmed across the lake. They caught them by the handfuls and squished them into balls, then fried them up into "delicious" fly cakes. As we were not there at the right time of year, we would not get the pleasure of trying them. Eddie assured us that we were not missing anything. He had tried them before and wasn’t impressed. As I had tried the other Malawian treat of grasshoppers and hadn’t been a fan, I didn’t rue our timing all that much. I guess protein is protein though, when it is scarce to come by. I just preferred the view.

The lapping waves were a welcome companion, as I curled up on the beach at night as well. With the flies located across the lake and no mosquitoes to bug me, I could look up at the pristine, star-lit sky in awe. It was also a treat to watch fishermen stringing their nets out in the moon’s glow in hopes of catching a meal for the next day. The long row of lights that represented each fisherman along the net, painted a line of humanity in my mind’s dark eye. I was mesmerized and fell in love with Malawi all over again.

Before I knew it though, the lake was behind us and I was let out at Annie’s Guest House, in Lilongwe, for the night. I was amongst backpackers again and enjoyed the camaraderie, for an evening at least. Stories were swapped and chocolate was shared. Our laughter was only good until noon though and then I met back up with Eddie to head off for the next leg of our journey.

After jumping into the land cruiser again, we journeyed on across the continent. We stopped in Chipata, then made our way across Zambia to Lusaka. Conversation lulled and was wan, at best. In bursts of discordant chatter, I spoke of my plans for the rest of my travels. Eddie nodded politely, while he drove across the dry terrain dotted with rondavels. When I said that I was thinking of heading back towards Harare, then south again to Cape Town, he suggested an alternate route.

“Why not cut across at Kasane and travel south down Namibia for somewhere you haven’t been before?” he said.

Why not indeed. And with that, plans changed again. I silently wished goodbye to my erstwhile friends in Harare and opened the door to adventure in new lands, as yet unexplored. I still had a ways to go before I could be introduced to this new country for me, but a twinge of excitement filled me again. I fell silent thinking about all the places I had been and people that I had met, but was still present enough to wave at the villagers that we passed who eagerly lifted their hands in greeting. Their enthusiasm still brought a smile to my lips, even after nine months on the road. While Lusaka neared on the road we travelled, my own trail grew as my mind drifted along on a new flight of fancy.  

Saturday's Email of the Week: Cleaning Day

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am lost in the chaos that is my basement. We are in the middle of one of our 1-2 hour long clean-up sessions. Lord help me! The day started with homemade muffins, but it is noon and I am ready for a drink!

No time though. I must go back downstairs with the vacuum now. I might even pull out the mop, while I hand dusters to the kids. How does it always get so bad, so fast? I ask you!

Well, this calls for humour, since there isn't much downstairs. I hope you all have sparkly Saturdays! I will be needing a bath and a drink in a few!

*****

Good morning, this is called following instruction precisely...


A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and
buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why on earth did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"


 He replied, "They had eggs."


This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males.

have a nice day......

~*~*~

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and CBIC bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the CBIC Bank:

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

CBIC: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe you should turn it over to collections.'

CBIC: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: 'So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

CBIC: 'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

CBIC: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?'

CBIC: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

CBIC: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

CBIC:(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.'(Lawyer info given)

CBIC: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: fax number is given.

After they get the fax:

CBIC: 'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

CBIC: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

CBIC: 'That might help.'

Family Member: Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number

CBIC: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'Well, what the f**k do you do with dead people on your planet?'

In Tandem #5 - Golden Heart

Soft caress

a kiss of wind drifts 

gently 'cross mountain pass

Down the valley

to the forest floor

Lo, the hot breeze 

drives in without forgiveness.

Fresh leaves, but a memory

swept away by

Autumn promises

Now parched images

all that is left of you

as sun sets steady

behind the bulk

of your memory

I draw your lines

hold your visions strong in mind,

yet I am too small

to ever spy the

golden heart that was you

...

M'lady Jinksy

holds a weekly prompt

by the name of In Tandem.

Here,

I showcase one of her beautiful paintings

and make attempt to capture her art

in words.

If you are interested,

every week she posts 2 pictures

on Wednesday

and leaves a link open for the week

for inspiration to flow

amongst others.

Enjoy!

Barefoot with Tea and Music

Hello!

Grooving on the new tunes in my play list. Hadn't made a change up in a while and thought it was time. After going through illness, vacations and the busyness that is summer, I felt that I needed to ground myself in a few new songs. Go take a listen if you need some quiet music to chill out to. Feel free to make a suggestion, if you think something is missing too! While you are listening, you can also read about some of the other things I have been up to this summer. 

...

I have also read some new books. I started the summer with a light-hearted book entitled "Barefoot", by Elin Hilderbrand (© 2007 Elin Hilderbrand, Back Bay Books). Well, light-hearted might not be the right term, I guess. More light and easy to read. It was predictable and tied up nicely with feel-good vibes all around at the the end. A brief synapsis: Three women land in Nantucket to spend the summer barefoot and fancy free on the beach. Or do they? One sister is just beginning a battle with cancer and will be receiving chemo all summer. She has two young sons and is not ready to let go of life, but doesn't know how to let go of the stress of it all. The other sister has volunteered to assist her older sibling through chemo treatments and help out with the kids. It sounds altruistic, until we discover that she is also escaping her life back home where she lost her job as a professor at a university for having an affair with a student (mature student - older than herself).  Oh ho, getting interesting! The third woman is the best friend of our ailing woman. She needs a break from her life back home, because she has just found out her husband is cheating on her. After several rounds of failed IVF, she is devastated, but no more so than when she finds out that she is pregnant! And to add a romantic twist, they meet a young man at the airport, who becomes their babysitter for the boys, who of course ends up having an affair with our poor pregnant damsel in distress. It is all very predictable, but was a perfect read for sitting on the beach myself. Easy to read, and well enough written to keep me reading through to the end.

I followed that up with "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin (© 2006 Penguin Books). Now this was another cup of tea entirely (pardon the pun). I originally picked up this book, as we were going to read it in book club, but we ran out of time the first year. It sat on my bedside table for ages and I finally cracked the spine this summer. Once I did, I could barely put it down. Relin is an accomplished writer and he brings Mortenson's story to life in vivid detail. I am sure that many of you have read the book or at least heard tell about it. It won the Kiriyama Prize (according to the sticker on the front of my book) and was on book club lists all over the continent. It is the story of Greg Mortenson's original failed attempt at climbing K2, that ultimately led him to set up the Central Asia Institute (CAI), which built many schools, community centres and irrigation systems around Pakistan and Afghanistan. Mortenson struggled against political, religious, societal and economic hardships, but is painted as a hero that strives to accomplish good where all others failed. 

In pulling together information for this post, I did find out some interesting details though. It seems that there has been some scandal associated with Mortenson's dealings, just this past year. 60 Minutes did an expose back in April, that questioned many of his financial practices, as well as his claims to greatness. Regardless of the truth of the story that was unearthed, I still applaud the ultimate goal behind the book though. The message is that one person CAN make a difference. I think that this fact is a valid point and humanitarian aid always has a place in society. It is a shame if the rumours are true, but the book renews faith in the goodness of human kind none the less. It is a great story and one that is worth the read. 

Now, I must close my eyes for the night though. I am reading "The Book of Negroes" by Lawrence Hill, at present, and so far it is good. I fear that my brain is done for the night though and any reading will have to happen in the morning or beyond. I wish you good music, happy reading, and whatever else floats your boat this summer.

Peace
XO

The View Out the Window

I watched the world fly by through the window of Eddie’s land cruiser now. I was headed south, re-tracing my steps back to South Africa, and eventually home. Today’s stop was in Karonga, Malawi where we picked up supplies. Eddie and John went shopping, while the other John and Catherine got out to stretch their legs and browse around Karonga. I stayed back in the land cruiser to scribble a few words in my journal and process where I was at. As there was no money in my wallet to spend anyway, it made more sense to stay put and hence keep out of trouble.

Gladly, trouble seemed to be skirting my world for the moment. Neale was long gone and Nimesh was a friend that I could hold in my heart, if not close enough to offer a personal hug in my arms. I reflected on the other friends that I had met on my journey. Dear Brett had been an excellent travelling companion, bar none. Miki had been the surprise ghost from my past, that had set me off on a path of adventure that I surely would not have stumbled upon on my own. The family that I was lucky to have been rekindled with had filled me full of a heart-song that I had never known and would cherish the rest of my days. There were many others too, like Ian, my erstwhile man in Harare, Stuart and Rob, my house mates in Lamu, Oliver and Taro, other faces that graced us with their presence in our van Arnie. The list went on and on. As I sat alone in the land cruiser though, I felt slightly hollow realizing that it was all coming to a close. While I might yet get a chance to see Max, Keith and Ndaba in Victoria Falls when I arrived, I just as easily might not.  At this rate, who was to know?

All I knew for certain, was that I was very lucky to have picked up the ride with Eddie at the helm of his “Tusker” fleet. He came to me at a point when I needed a sign. His offer was surely the most glaring sign I could have asked for. When I was not sure which way to go, he gently led me to the path home. And at that moment, when I looked up and saw him ambling towards the land cruiser, I knew that it was meant to be. In a week’s time, 1500 kilometers would pass under the vehicle's wheels. That was a lot of time to think about the days past and the days to come, but for now I scrambled to offer whatever help I could before we hit the road again. Repacking done, I wedged my growing backside back into the seat and picked up my view out the window again. Livingstone, ho!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Thoughtfulness

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am feeling a far cry better this week than I was last Saturday. Hoo boy, but that strep infection knocked me on my behind in a big way. Very nasty stuff, and no I do not have the pleasure to have picked it up by sucking face with some poor slob that would pass me those kinds of cooties. Many of you kind people did inquire nicely as to my health too, and for that I thank you. On Monday, I couldn't lift a case of pop. Tuesday, my brain was still firing on only half its cylinders (making writing for a living pretty painful!), but by the end of the week it was coming back to me. Well, I guess you can be the judge of my mental state though. What say you?

Ok, who asked you anyway!!

So one of the lovely people that tried to cheer me up was Penny, from over at Alias Jinksy. Last week, I shared a joke about the heat in Texas (or insert whatever hot place you might call home). She responded by sharing this beautiful picture that she crafted in my email inbox. I was touched and love this beautiful rainy day scene. You made my day with a gift of thoughtfulness Penny!

I also got a video from my trusty source Bill that made me laugh out loud. He is always so thoughtful to fill my inbox with a vast array of emails to peruse. Well, this week I have needed the laughs so... After feeling like everything coming out of my mouth was dumb, dumb and dumber, this was right up my alley. Oi Vey, but my brain got lost in the slow shuffle! While this doesn't improve my brain functioning, a little laughter doesn't hurt either. 

And just to let you know, I won't be responding to any comments until later this evening or tomorrow, as the girls and I went to their father's aunt's trailer for a visit. Just a short road trip, but overnight this year! Yippee, off to Ipperwash!

Summer Nights

Cricket song washes over me
A shooting star teases -
You have a wish?
Silence

Night

No need to 

Capture anything

That can't fill my heart

~

Night

night creeps in
erases days repast
the moon glows




full light above my head
wiping stars clear 
from memory

eyes close to the light
I can take no more of today
tomorrow sunrise

A Hindu Celebration

A tear slowly slipped from my travel-worn cheek, as the bus turned a corner and disappeared from sight. Nimesh stood beside me, respectfully letting me have a moment. In the end, it had been him that had lent Neale enough money to catch a bus North. Neale was headed to Nairobi, hoping to find a cheaper flight from there. I, on the other hand, had to face facts that my travelling days were dwindling to a close. With Neale gone, my heart was no longer in the adventure. It was time to turn towards home.

“Let’s go home,” Nimesh said, breaking my sad thoughts.

“Yes,” I replied. Home, my mind echoed.

Home today was not a bed in my mother’s house though. Neale and I had been taken under Nimesh’s protective wing and now he insisted that I stay with him for the night before leaving Dar es Salaam myself. Tomorrow I would be meeting up with Eddy to hitch a ride South with him in one of his company's jeeps. He was an American fellow that ran a small safari company catering to wealthy American tourists. He had just completed a trip from his home base of Livingstone, Zambia to Dar es Salaam, and now was returning home to rest for a few days before doing it all over again. He had room in his jeep for a stow-away and all I had to pay for was my meals. Meeting Eddy, with his gift of transportation South, had been the sign that told me I was not meant to try to scrabble my way North with Neale. We had promised to meet up again in the future, to travel further together, but the fates had said “not now”.

So I followed Nimesh through the familiar streets of Dar es Salaam, now a little emptier without the large figure of Neale beside me, towards the outskirts of the city. Nimesh lived with his parents and brother in a small home that consisted of two bedrooms and a kitchen. It was comfortable, if not spacious. There was no running water inside, but a tap was outside to bring in water to cook with. There was also no real water closet (WC), but I was directed towards an area where I could void when I needed to. I had been in Africa too long to balk at their primitive hole in the ground. Their “toilet” was cleaner than many I had seen anyway.

In fact, I was more than thankful that Nimesh’s family had agreed to take me in for the night at all.  For them, having a visitor was a cause for celebration, so as soon as I arrived any sad thoughts I had were flung away and I was dragged into the centre spotlight of a grand hoopla. After leaving my shoes at the door, Nimesh’s mother, Jasvanti, took me in hand and hugged me warmly. She had heard the many stories from her son of the big South African man and young Canadian girl that travelled with him. What I didn’t realize, was that in the stories she heard, Neale and I were married! Many questions poured forth about how we met, how long we had been married for, and when we would meet up again. While I felt a little awkward in this little white lie, I reassured them that we would be meeting up again soon in South Africa, then be jetting off to Canada together. Our married life for the last year and a half had been grand! I hoped that no Hindu Gods would strike me down for these little fibs that seemed necessary to maintain a sense of decorum for my generous hosts.

Questions and joviality continued on, as the tea was poured. This was a precursor to the feasting that would follow. I had fallen in love with the sweet tea in Tanzania, so enjoyed it immensely. My eyes popped at what came next though. Exorbitant amounts of food were presented to me, and I was encouraged to eat, eat and eat some more! It was all delicious and I wasn’t exactly sure how to politely say I was full, so kept eating the excellent dishes that were presented in their finest wares. When finally they let me groan back from the eating area smoothed out on the floor, I thought that perhaps I would get a chance to rest, but no. Now it was time for dancing!

What had I gotten myself into, I wondered, as Jasvanti insisted that I change. My belly was straining at my clothes already, but my thin traveller’s garb was not good enough for tonight. I needed to get pretty! A sari was the only thing fit for the occasion. “Ok,” I acquiesced as yards of fine silk were pulled out of Jasvanti’s wardrobe. I stood still as she expertly wrapped me in a length of pink checked fabric, lined with blue and a band of white, and decorated with squares and circles throughout. A light blue top was donned underneath, before the end of the long silk was draped across my shoulder.

“Now we need some makeup!” Jasvanti declared.

I suspected that she would have loved to have had a little girl of her own to dress, but she made due with me today. Bangles were produced and a necklace was declared perfect as it was slid over my head. My lips sported a bright pink that matched my sari, but there was still a missing piece to be put on – a bindi. I had to have one. Jasvanti found a pretty oblong one that was attached with an adhesive backer. I had no idea that bindis could be stickers! Hers was a simple red dot painted in the middle of her eyebrows, by comparison. finally finished, I was a sight to behold. 

“Go get the camera,” Jasvanti urged Hemendra.

Nimesh’s brother ran off to find the missing camera, as I looked at my transformation. Jasvanti declared me beautiful and I certainly looked special, but I wondered at the pictures. Before I could protest though, Hemendra was back with the Polaroid and I was placed in front of the altar for a  photo shoot. After taking pictures of me with every member of the household, in different combinations, I was finally allowed to undress and retire for the evening. It had been quite the day and not one that I would forget for a long time to come. I needed to sleep though. Tomorrow I would be on the move once again. 

Give Me A Broom or Give Me Death!

Sleeping beauty lay,

glazed eyes barely

able to see

the growing grime.

Was this a fairytale ending -

Forever to drool

onto cheap throw pillows?

Bring on the Drugs!

Don't worry. No camels were actually harmed during this photo shoot. She was actually sleeping!

I haven't played the Sunday 160 in ages! The drugs must be working a smidge, as I am off the couch! Well, hoping to be for some of the rest of this beautiful long weekend. Have a great Sunday all and Salutations to you Monkey Man for being such a super host week after week!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Need a Giggle

Saturday's Email of the Week

I have been out of the loop this week. It started off me trying to play catch up after being gone for most of last week camping. We had a blast, but it was right back into the swing of things on Monday and trying to get ahead. Thankfully Monday was a good writing day, as Tuesday I started to sneeze. By Wednesday my throat hurt and I went to bed early, only to be like the walking dead sweating and dripping and scrambling for a thermometer. The floor was the only cool place to be, but lying there I just felt too exposed. From whom? No one, but I worried that my children would stumble over me on the way to the bathroom and be worried that I was lying in the hallway. Yeah, it was bad. I managed to fumble back to bed and pretty much stayed there for two days. I was weak, sore and had a metallic taste in my mouth, that today I finally noticed equated to my tongue being gray. Yuck.

With help from a friend delivering tylenol and taking my children to daycare, I managed to sleep most of the rest of Friday away. By the time they came home at 5pm, I was able to finally stand for 5 minutes again. Hooray! I even read stories at bedtime, which I didn't have the throat to do, even if I could have kept my eyes open for long enough. Victory is mine. Well, maybe not victory, as I am still pretty limp, but I will survive.

So I apologize for not being around much the last few weeks. I need a little humour to make me feel more a'rights, so hope you enjoy these dandies from my inbox this week. Feel free to send me anything that you think I might enjoy or want to share on my email of the week. Happy Saturday!



To make this story more relevant, please feel free to substitute
"Florida" or "Georgia" for "Texas"!

Dear Diary,


Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've
finally found my home. I love it here.


June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.


June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.


July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water
balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned my
lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes
again.


July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.


July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house
and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever
come here?


Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.


Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!


Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to
the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my
legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and
baked cat.


Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next,
so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the
cactus can't live in this damn heat.


Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot
to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for
you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to
live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

recovering

The circle of life

spun close to the edge this week

I recover via couch

A Twist of Fate

Excitement got the best of us in the morning. There were no long snuggles for Neale and I, as we were in search of plane tickets today. Cairo waited for us and Israel beckoned to be explored as well. Cairo was just the tip of the ice berg. We could see the world, but today it started with a trip to the travel agent.

Actually, it started with a phone book - to figure out where to locate a travel agency. Once that was accomplished, Neale and I dressed and headed out. I felt like a giddy school girl arranging to skip class, but far too excited to stop and think about the consequences. We would fly to Cairo and explore from there. I had always wanted to see the pyramids of Giza and the Great Sphinx, as well as wander through the busy bazaars. It was coming to fruitition  and I could barely contain myself. We would be stepping onto a plane heading North in a matter of days, if not hours!

Across town, we sat in front of a pleasant looking young woman and explained to her that we wanted to go to Egypt. Ideally, we wanted to leave as soon as possible, but realistically, the cheapest ticket would dictate when we left. She poured through time tables and looked at price tags, then turned to us with a smile.

“Would tomorrow do?” she inquired.

“Oh yes,” was our response.

She started tapping in my particulars first. I pushed my passport across the desk and squeezed Neale’s hand. We would be headed for Cairo tomorrow! A measly six hour flight would touch us down in a whole new country, as well as a new hemisphere in Africa for me. It was over 4000 kilometers, and I had no idea how I would be able to get back to Cape Town (where my plane ticket back to Canada departed from), but here I was stating my name and birth date.  

Tap, tap, tap…

“And how would you like to pay?” she finally asked.

I dug for my credit card and pushed it across the desk to her. The tapping stopping, then she punched more numbers into the credit card machine.

“There appears to be a problem with your credit card,” the travel agent said as politely as she could.

What the…?

“What do you mean,” I asked.

She tried the numbers again, but shook her head. She handed me the machine, so that I could see the explanation.

“CONTACT CREDIT CARD COMPANY,” it read.

Oh, oh. This wasn't part of the plan. 

Step number two was to pick up the phone to see what was going on. The travel agent dialed the  phone number that was displayed on her machine, spoke to the representative, then handed me the phone. After a round of identification questions, a handful more questions, plus some of my own, the answer was presented to me – INSUFFICIENT FUNDS.

Our plans rapidly started to unravel. My credit card was at its limit. I could not use my debit card in Tanzania and I only had a $50 US traveller’s cheque left, as well as small amounts of currency from the last half dozen countries that I had been in. Essentially, I was broke.

Neale rallied to the cause. He pulled out his credit card and offered to pay for both our tickets. I knew that once I got a hold of my mother back home, I could sort out my finances and pay him back. That shouldn’t take too long, I reasoned. The money would be back in his pocket in no time.

Fate had other plans though. Our beleaguered travel agent shook her head once more and announced that Neale’s credit card had also been denied. We were both flat broke. We could not afford even one ticket to Cairo between the two of us, let alone tickets for both of us to go. After several more phone calls and other desperate measures, we dejectedly walked out of the travel agency empty handed. Our dreams of Cairo fizzled out miserably. We were not going anywhere.

Saturday's Email of the Week: Suggestion to Beat the Heat - Cucumbers

Saturday's Email of the Week

Well, this week I am out of town sweating away in a little tent with the girls. I am not writing from there, as we are without running water, electricity or many of the other luxuries that we are so accustomed to. No, I am close to the Tomato Capitol of Canada and near the southern-most tip of our great country. Yup, reporting to you from Wheatley Provincial Park today and headed to the beach again. 


But just because I am off goofing around making 'smores and sitting fireside, doesn't mean I won't share a little something with you from the old email inbox from this week. This interesting email was an informative little number all about cucumbers. Enjoy!


PS. If they are such a great way to rehydrate, we might have to stock up on them, as before we left for our camping holidays, heat alerts were being issued all across Southern Ontario. I foresee lots of beverages being drunk, cucumbers being eaten and plenty of water play at the beach.

WOW! 

WHAT A LITTLE GEM THE CUCUMBER IS.
I WILL LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY NOW.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need. Every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon? Put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a Cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that Quick pick-me-up that can last for Hours.

 3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a Cucumber slice along the mirror. It will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, Spa-like fragrance.

 4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few Slices in a small pie tin and your garden will Be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give Off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

 5. Looking for a Fast and easy way to remove cellulite before Going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or Two of cucumbers along your problem area for a Few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber Cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, Firming up the outer layer and reducing the Visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles Too!!!

 6. Want to avoid a hangover or Terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B Vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that Afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers Have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for Quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and You realize that you don't have enough time to Polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber Over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a Quick and durable shine that not only looks Great but also repels Water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a Cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire Cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water. The chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce Stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a Business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 Seconds to eliminate bad breath, the Phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel?Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but it won't leave streaks and won't harm You fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a Pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the Cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen Writing, also works great on crayons and markers That the kids have used to decorate the Walls!!

 Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better and safer ways to Solve life's everyday Problems...

The Firefly's Dance

sparks of light flicker

fire on wings of summer's night

no music heard tonight

Leaving on a Jet Plane - The Musical

After yesterday's post, I just couldn't help but share this song. It reminds me of days gone by in a sweet melancholy way. No jet planes in my near future, but I can still dream of good days to come. I can still dream of arms around me, as I remember sweet kisses in your smile. 

sweet kiss

morning's bliss

forever a song

in my heart

~

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Neale and I were constant companions over the days that followed. After spending a second night in his larger room, I decided to pass on keeping up appearances and moved in with him. There was no point in us both paying for rooms, if we were only going to use one. You couldn’t separate us if you tried. We wandered city streets, chatting, laughing, holding hands and finding quiet corners to share a passionate kiss or two. We met back up with Nimesh for a personalized tour of the city as well. Neither Neale nor I had much cash flowing out of our pockets, but that did not dampen our euphoric spirits. Burgeoning love feeds the soul.

The problem was that the more time Neale and I spent together, the less we wanted to be separated. While in Dar es Salaam that wasn’t a problem, but neither of us had the money to stay put and the city was quickly losing its appeal. We were both travellers and our feet itched to move on. Neale was headed North. After my failed attempt at being an overland courier, I was still drifting and sought direction for which way to go next. I felt like home was vaguely calling my name, but Africa was in my blood and I loathed the idea of leaving it. Temptation arose and I had no good reasons to turn it down. Neale’s hearty laugh and generous compliments had me in favour of pretty much anything that he suggested. So when the proposal came to accompany him to Cairo, it took me all of two seconds to agree.

While I did get excited at the prospect of seeing Egypt, a few worries couldn't help but cross my mind. Was it really a good idea to be traipsing across the continent with a virtual stranger? Hmm. Well, I had been doing that for the last nine months with a steady stream of strangers, many of whom I knew even less than Neale. So that could be crossed off the list of worries easily enough. If we went to Egypt together though, how and when would I get back to Cape Town, or Canada for that matter? Seeing the excitement in Neale’s eyes erased any doubts that my brain tried to muster though. I was present in the miracle of the moment. I had travelled long enough to trust my instincts when the fates presented new opportunities to me. If it felt right, then it was meant to be. The idea of this potential trip excited me and definitely screamed as an opportunity to be taken advantage of. How could I not jump on board? Neale's enthusiasm was contagious and it was decided.

All that stood in the way, was the means to get there. So over a cheap beer in our favourite pub, we decided  that we would leave for Cairo as soon as we could muster up some plane tickets. Giddy with anticipation, we finished our pitcher and wandered home arm in arm for the night. The plan was to find a travel agent in the morning and leave on a jet plane to Cairo, as soon as we were able. 

Saturday's Email of the Week: Birthday Wishes All Over Again

Email of the Week

While this video came to me compliments of Facebook, I did get an email regarding other songs by the same band. I personally liked "Cake" best though, so thought I would share it here with you.

The occasion this week was a friend's birthday. A long-lost friend and erstwhile boyfriend. In fact, the recipient of this song was my very first boyfriend. He was the one who introduced me to ska and began to open the door for me to an alternative world. When I met him, he was a skin head, rode a motorcycle, owned a scooter, and managed to cook me a shaky meal of spaghetti (with the help of telephone step-by-step directions from a sweet friend that couldn't resist helping the petrified young man). He bought me a super-soft teddy bear with flowers for our first Valentine's Day. No boy had ever given me anything as sweet as that before.

Ah yes, I was 17 and smitten, but there were underlying problems that just couldn't be resolved. This dear boy gave me a taste of pure romance, but lived an achingly long drive away. An hour and a half drive, once a week, every other, then finally once a month killed this fledgling relationship. I was in high school and he was a  college man. Our futures were uncertain and ultimately I bet against them. When I broke his heart, I broke mine too. My young years somehow knew that it was the right thing to do though.

but damn, it hurt.

For my fellow Cancer friend, I share this song today though. He always made me laugh and had an endearing smile. I am lucky to call him a friend still.

So for Saturday's email of the week, I share with you "Cake", by Rather Good. Perfect, I think. Happy Saturday everyone. And happy birth-month to all my fellow cancers out there celebrating a birthday this month. WE ROCK!

A Goodbye

heart

filled  up

with a thousand 

sparks  of  disbelief

over  the  loss  of  you...

Alone 

to  face

tomorrow

no direction 

to claim as safe

when I crumple

to the floor

in grief

with

out

u

~

A funeral for a friend of the family has me preoccupied and sad, as the world spins on tonight. Another spark is pinched out just when it is needed most. Strength to you Pat.


Blessings George. May your journey to the beyond be well...

What Colour Goes With Yellow?

What colours go with yellow?

my daughter asks

...

Today's answer is brown,

 

black

and a creamy white

with shades of lavender

 hanging in the sunshine

of my mind's eye

- a brilliant sight to see

The Morning After

Lazily I stretched and cracked my eyes open to the day. An unfamiliar room greeted me, but that wasn’t surprising considering I rested my head in a different spot most nights. A warmth in the bed beside me reminded me that today was different though. I was not alone. A twinge of apprehension filled me, as I peeked at my companion. Neale breathed heavily beside me. He was apparently still asleep. 

“Wasn’t this jumping the gun a little,” I wondered to myself. “Maybe I should just leave before an awkward moment steals in to disrupt this cozy atmosphere.”

With a pang of regret, I slowly eased my leg towards the edge of the bed. Just as I thought I was free, and beginning to wonder how I could go about quietly finding my things and leaving without waking my sleeping companion, a strong arm reached out and drew me back.  I was pulled into Neale’s warm body and a gentle kiss planted on my bare shoulder. Blissfully, I melted back into the bed. With a sigh, I cuddled into Neale’s chest and closed my eyes again.

“Morning,” he said.

“Good morning, “ I replied, as I opened my eyes to look into his brilliant green pools.

How could these joyful thoughts be a bad thing? I was the happiest that I had been in months. Neale’s generous grin filled my heart and more.

“Thinking of going somewhere, Beautiful?” he asked teasingly.

“Not anymore,” I said with a  smile. Not on your life. 

I was quite happy to stay like that forever. 

Saturday's Email of the Week: Good Canadian Fun

Saturday's Email of the Week

I totally wish that I had received this email last week to share with you for Canada day! This week's email/video came from my Mother. I know that she is a fan of comics and I have seen her bust a gut watching this guy before. Russell Peters is an hilarious Canadian comic hailing from just down the road from me in Brampton. While Peters has since relocated to LA, he still comes home to hang with his Canadian friends and family that helped to start him on his path to fame. And what is his path to fame paved with - jokes poking fun at every ethnic group under the sun. While he often pokes fun at his Indian heritage, the video today ribs his good ole Canadian peeps. No doubt, eh! 

Enjoy and Happy Saturday!

The "One"

There she stood, perfect. He slowly approached with eager anticipation. She was interested. He could see it in the curve of her hip, as she watched him draw near. Mmhmm!

“MOM, HOW DO YOU MAKE SOMEONE GO AWAY THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO PLAY WITH?”she called towards the beach.

Deflated, he paddled his floatie away… 

Oops, being silly with a Flash 55 for G-Man. He's one holiday, but I have had this picture kicking around that I have wanted to write a caption to. Poor little guy never stood a chance...

no blinks allowed

a microsecond 

of time caught - no blinks allowed

savour the moment

It's Wednesday - Have you stopped by One Shot yet?

happy birthday ...

Throwing my own birthday party here today!

I've had my cake

and presents too

before you try to sing

here's a birthday video -woohoo!

Long Weekend Getaway

Happy 4th of July to all my American friends!

I have been away since mid-week last week, so did not get a chance to get any writing in. Alas, no trip to Africa today! I can still whisk you away though, just not quite as far - Orillia. I took advantage of holidays everywhere and hid up north with the mosquitoes, deer flies, family and even an old friend or two thrown in for good measure. Today, I will just offer you a snapshot of the fun we had and get back to writing tomorrow.

So what did we get up to?

Sitting fireside, drinking beer, watching fireworks, playing, laughing, gambling, joining into sing-songs around the campfire, s'mores, barbeques and so much more...

Stinky dog washing

swimming in the lake

Boating

more swimming with cousins

Beer drinking

Just being goofy

Getting dolled up

For some birthday fun. Doh!