Saturday's Email of the Week: Busyness

Saturday's Email of the Week

Oh, oh, It's Staurday night! My week passed in a blur and now is almost over. To be perfectly honest, I have not even thought of my computer today either. Ran the kids to their rolling & tumbling class this morning. Ran at the gym (cross trainer actually, but whatever). Ran home for lunch. Threats of frost this evening had me racing to get my rosemary plant out of the ground and into the house. I barely had time to wash the stink off & get a present wrapped, before getting T. to her birthday party this afternoon. Run, run, run some more! Another birthday party tomorrow will have us out of the house again, but I hope that I will be able to find a few minutes of down time at some point. Mind you, the floor is in desperate need of a cleaning...

Ach, worries for next week. It will be another packed week in anticipation of the short week following, but that's okay. For right now, I think that I will just leave this short and sweet. All the running seems to have my time management skills a little sharper, so there is small mercies. And in general, a smile plays across my lips. Life is good.

Today.

but of course perhaps this is my problem...

Saturday's Email of the Week: Reaping the Rewards

Saturday's Email of the Week

Happy Saturday all!

I have to be honest with you. This week was not what I expected at all. I don't know quite what I was expecting, but I was riding off of saying goodbye to my friends/teachers from daycare, losing a client and finally losing my babysitter. To say the least, I was not in a very good mood. Kind of glum in fact. I had a big internal pout on and thought about crying into my shoes. 

Instead, I bought mulch and gardened. Mother Nature has a way of taking all your ills and whisking them away, while you toil in the dirt. At least that is how it works for me. A little meditation if you will, as I imagine things growing here, flowers blooming there and edible bits popping up in the lawn (yes, clover, violets and dandelions are all edible!). I am in the moment while debating terra firma and the rest of the world disappears. 

On Saturday last, I pulled every plant out of a small garden and rearranged it freshly and nice. It all started with a peony that refused to bloom. People say that they are particular about their depth - too deep or too shallow and they will not bloom (YUP!). So I uprooted it (to show it what for), set it aside, then debated where to replant it. That lead to the day lilies coming out, the balloon flowers moving to the front, irises being added into the mix and wishing adieu to the transcendentia. I can't always visualize so well, so I just pulled them all out, added in some new and divided the others to replant elsewhere. By the time I was done, it looked much better, but all the existing mulch had either been turned under or ran for the hills while I wasn't otherwise engaged with staring blankly at the blank slate of dirt that I had created. 

So with plants newly arranged, I headed out to the closest big box store on Monday and purchase me 6 more bags of mulch to disperse hither and yon. Most in the 'new' garden, but a bunch in places where divisions found new homes as well. I might have been just hiding from responsibility just a little bit, but at that point I didn't care. My internal pout felt pretty comfortably in place and I used the full moon as another excellent reason to indulge my escapist whims. I have to say, by the time I was done, it looked pretty darn good too. 

Eventually I could not ignore the clock any more though. I might have been down a client, but there was still work to do and only so many hours left before I would have to pick the kids up from school. Plus we were expecting friends for dinner. They always come with wine and sympathetic ears, so I kept that thought in mind and plodded through the rest of the afternoon.

Well, wouldn't you know, but they brought good news in tow! At a Car-Free Festival, I had met a woman who was a friend/business associate to my dear friend. They had chatty chatted about me in my absence, and lo and behold, the woman is in need of some social media help. By mid-week, we had a coffee date and I had a new client in my roster! Not only that, but another friend of mine contacted me the same day asking about this "social media thing" and wondering if there was a reason to get into it as a small business person. He showed up at my house with coffee in hand and left with a promise from me that we would start him out on a new path too! Two new clients on the same day!

So with my head spinning by the end of the week, I look forward to a new start next week with fresh clients, new and very different topics, and an upgraded schedule to set my days. I am excited for the challenge, nervous about how I will handle it, but ready to face the day. Perhaps my reward for tending to Mother Nature's patch was a little helping hand in the fate department? I am going to take that as a yes and head into the weekend with a smile on my face and a much lighter heart. And with that I leave you with a little light-hearted humour to go out into your day with. 

Daddy, how was I born? 


A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat roomon Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button ,nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: Scroll down...You'll love this 

.......

......

.....

....

...

..

.

\/

...... 'You got Male!

Saturday's Email of the Week: A Look Back

Saturday's Email of the Week

Goodness, a little late this week! The week has come and gone and now its Saturday already. It has been a busy, strange kind of week with much new goings on. For starters, the children started back to school. I held up much better this year, as compared to last. To be honest, I had a harder time letting go of the fact that we were saying goodbye to the daycare that we had been attending for the last six years. The ladies there were all warm and loving individuals that not only physically took care of my children, but made me feel like a part of all of their families. I tried not to break down too much, but there were more than a few tears shed in anticipation of the last time we would walk out their doors. I was not the only one with tears in my eyes though. It reaffirmed our connection, getting those teary hugs from many staff who were just as sad to see us go.

My writing and crafty self could not help but get involved in our goodbyes either (surprise). I made up a collage of snippets with what the girls had to say about individual teachers and mack-tacked it together to offer it to them. Here are just a few examples of the love that the girls poured forth;

“Cindy is a special person because she makes my life feel better sometimes. Cus she gives me a hug and she helped my do a nice craft today (Ie. Making books)” - words from my 4-year old

“I like her because she helps me exercise. And I like her because she tries to tickle me and sometimes does. ” - just one of the nice things that my 6-year old had to say about her teachers

And you know that I couldn't resist getting a few words in edgewise. I am pretty sure that I made a number of the teachers cry with my heartfelt missive of what they meant to me.

"Over the years, I have seen both of my girls grow and mature. I believe watching their father die has made them more sensitive and compassionate souls, and many times the E--- staff has pointed that out to me. The staff has always treated my girls as nothing short of normal and when I felt so far from that myself, that was a godsend. I constantly had staff ask about my days, weekends and family life. She might not have realized it at the time, but every time that K- remarked on a new haircut I got, I wanted to hug her, kiss her and/or cry. There was no one else to even notice if I did anything to my appearance. You were my family. B- encouraged T’s creativity and C- encouraged R’s sense of self. K-, M- and C- are always at the ready with tickles and both my girls always screech in delight at the sight of you. While some of you I have not gotten to know as well as others, you have all been an integral part of my family. You let me tinker in your garden every year and gave me thumbs up for the effort, when really it was one of the few ways I could think of to give back. Having R- at my side was a special moment for me that first year with my fingers in the dirt. Years later having L- approach me as the “Gardening Mom” and asking my advice made me feel special and kind of proud. You all have truly helped me grow back into me. Whether it was insisting that I stop, eat and talk, the week following my cousin’s death, or sensitively asking how to handle Father’s Day, I have always felt respected, cared for and loved. It was always offered so genuinely, that I could not help but absorb every ounce of it."

Now I get teary at the memory of it again. No time though as the girls are starting a Rolling & Tumbling Class today. We started back to swimming lessons and I have started back into a more active lifestyle by exercising myself while they are in the pool or at school. So now, time to go, go, go! I wish you all a fabulous weekend and hope that your first week back to school and September went well. I leave you with a little funny that showed up in my mailbox last week from one of my regular contributors to my laugh track. Peace!

Older Love Making

Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in The Villages, in Florida . They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.

They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....

Claude was thinking:

'If I'd known she was a virgin,

I'd have been gentler.'

Maude was thinking:

'If I'd known he could still do it,

I'd have taken off my pantyhose.'

Saturday's Email of the Week: Somebody Hand Me a Kleenex

Saturday's Email of the Week

Oh my GOD, I thought I was going to stop breathing while watching this! I laughed so hard during the video that tears were literally squirting out of my eyes. My sides hurt and I worried that the girls would sleepily wander down the hall wondering what all the noise was about. While they remained blissfully sleeping, I snorted and chortled right through to the end of the skit.

Now technically this video was directed to me through Facebook, but I got an email that it was there from my inbox. And I went directly to Youtube to watch it, effectively avoiding losing 10 minutes of my life scanning my Facebook wall, so I think it counts! Anyway, it is my call and I think that this video is well worth sharing, even if any of you have seen it before. If you've never seen "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", then you are in for a treat. Put down your coffee and just try to keep poker-faced while you watch the antics of Drew Carey (super funny host), Ryan Stiles (a way tall drink of water), Wayne Brady (so dreamy!), Colin Mochrie (Canadian, eh!) and a surprise guest!

I hope that your week didn't end too wet. As I write this, it is too early to tell how bad Irene will be, but she is all over the news. I wish you all health, security, and happiness, plus a dry bed at night. Be well.

Peace.

Saturday's Email of the Week: A Religious Debate

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am out of town today at a wedding. I should be up by now showering, doing hair and makeup & trying to convince the girls that they should let me do their hair as well. At least I should have Grandma to help me out, so maybe she can pull their hair into cute little piggies to set off their fancy dresses. I shall be pulling on a brand new dress with a set of pretty new shoes to go with. I would like to say I am a girlie girl, but this was my first new dress in about 13-14 years. My other fancy dress that has always been my stand-by staple was one I wore as a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. I figured it was time that I could do with a little fresh gussying up. Perhaps I will be able to have someone snap a picture or two so that I can share. Until then, I leave you with this week's email of the week. It came in early in the week and got a good snort from me. I hope you enjoy! Have a super weekend!

The Pope and The Rabbi


Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our faiths.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," said the rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews but I told him emphatically that we were staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine

*******************************

Saturday's Email of the Week: Cleaning Day

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am lost in the chaos that is my basement. We are in the middle of one of our 1-2 hour long clean-up sessions. Lord help me! The day started with homemade muffins, but it is noon and I am ready for a drink!

No time though. I must go back downstairs with the vacuum now. I might even pull out the mop, while I hand dusters to the kids. How does it always get so bad, so fast? I ask you!

Well, this calls for humour, since there isn't much downstairs. I hope you all have sparkly Saturdays! I will be needing a bath and a drink in a few!

*****

Good morning, this is called following instruction precisely...


A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and
buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why on earth did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"


 He replied, "They had eggs."


This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males.

have a nice day......

~*~*~

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and CBIC bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the CBIC Bank:

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

CBIC: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe you should turn it over to collections.'

CBIC: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: 'So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

CBIC: 'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

CBIC: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?'

CBIC: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

CBIC: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

CBIC:(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.'(Lawyer info given)

CBIC: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: fax number is given.

After they get the fax:

CBIC: 'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

CBIC: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

CBIC: 'That might help.'

Family Member: Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number

CBIC: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'Well, what the f**k do you do with dead people on your planet?'

Saturday's Email of the Week: Thoughtfulness

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am feeling a far cry better this week than I was last Saturday. Hoo boy, but that strep infection knocked me on my behind in a big way. Very nasty stuff, and no I do not have the pleasure to have picked it up by sucking face with some poor slob that would pass me those kinds of cooties. Many of you kind people did inquire nicely as to my health too, and for that I thank you. On Monday, I couldn't lift a case of pop. Tuesday, my brain was still firing on only half its cylinders (making writing for a living pretty painful!), but by the end of the week it was coming back to me. Well, I guess you can be the judge of my mental state though. What say you?

Ok, who asked you anyway!!

So one of the lovely people that tried to cheer me up was Penny, from over at Alias Jinksy. Last week, I shared a joke about the heat in Texas (or insert whatever hot place you might call home). She responded by sharing this beautiful picture that she crafted in my email inbox. I was touched and love this beautiful rainy day scene. You made my day with a gift of thoughtfulness Penny!

I also got a video from my trusty source Bill that made me laugh out loud. He is always so thoughtful to fill my inbox with a vast array of emails to peruse. Well, this week I have needed the laughs so... After feeling like everything coming out of my mouth was dumb, dumb and dumber, this was right up my alley. Oi Vey, but my brain got lost in the slow shuffle! While this doesn't improve my brain functioning, a little laughter doesn't hurt either. 

And just to let you know, I won't be responding to any comments until later this evening or tomorrow, as the girls and I went to their father's aunt's trailer for a visit. Just a short road trip, but overnight this year! Yippee, off to Ipperwash!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Need a Giggle

Saturday's Email of the Week

I have been out of the loop this week. It started off me trying to play catch up after being gone for most of last week camping. We had a blast, but it was right back into the swing of things on Monday and trying to get ahead. Thankfully Monday was a good writing day, as Tuesday I started to sneeze. By Wednesday my throat hurt and I went to bed early, only to be like the walking dead sweating and dripping and scrambling for a thermometer. The floor was the only cool place to be, but lying there I just felt too exposed. From whom? No one, but I worried that my children would stumble over me on the way to the bathroom and be worried that I was lying in the hallway. Yeah, it was bad. I managed to fumble back to bed and pretty much stayed there for two days. I was weak, sore and had a metallic taste in my mouth, that today I finally noticed equated to my tongue being gray. Yuck.

With help from a friend delivering tylenol and taking my children to daycare, I managed to sleep most of the rest of Friday away. By the time they came home at 5pm, I was able to finally stand for 5 minutes again. Hooray! I even read stories at bedtime, which I didn't have the throat to do, even if I could have kept my eyes open for long enough. Victory is mine. Well, maybe not victory, as I am still pretty limp, but I will survive.

So I apologize for not being around much the last few weeks. I need a little humour to make me feel more a'rights, so hope you enjoy these dandies from my inbox this week. Feel free to send me anything that you think I might enjoy or want to share on my email of the week. Happy Saturday!



To make this story more relevant, please feel free to substitute
"Florida" or "Georgia" for "Texas"!

Dear Diary,


Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've
finally found my home. I love it here.


June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.


June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.


July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water
balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned my
lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes
again.


July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.


July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house
and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever
come here?


Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.


Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!


Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to
the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my
legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and
baked cat.


Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next,
so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the
cactus can't live in this damn heat.


Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot
to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for
you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to
live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

Saturday's Email of the Week: Good Canadian Fun

Saturday's Email of the Week

I totally wish that I had received this email last week to share with you for Canada day! This week's email/video came from my Mother. I know that she is a fan of comics and I have seen her bust a gut watching this guy before. Russell Peters is an hilarious Canadian comic hailing from just down the road from me in Brampton. While Peters has since relocated to LA, he still comes home to hang with his Canadian friends and family that helped to start him on his path to fame. And what is his path to fame paved with - jokes poking fun at every ethnic group under the sun. While he often pokes fun at his Indian heritage, the video today ribs his good ole Canadian peeps. No doubt, eh! 

Enjoy and Happy Saturday!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Keeping it Light

Saturday's Email of the Week

So Saturday has arrived again. I have to say, it has been a crazy week, what with trying to get ready for the long weekend this weekend. Nothing that can't wait until another day, in the grand scheme of things though. I managed to get most everything done that I wanted to before sneaking away for a visit with the grandparents. Right about now, I am hoping to either be sleeping in, or perhaps lounging in Grandpa's boat catching a few rays, if not a few fish for dinner. It sounds like we will have company as well, as my sister shall be descending upon the family gathering as well. Woot, woot!! Happy Canada Day celebrations shall be had!

I hope that you all are having a wonderful weekend as well and that my American friends are enjoying their own long weekend fun in the name of the 4th of July. I will raise a glass of cheer to all of us celebrating our nations! Hip, hip hooray for summertime & the LONG weekend!!

In keeping with the spirit of celebration, I am leaving this light and fun today. Here is a funny video about the joys of exercise and the stairs, plus maybe I will throw in a little joke afterwards as well.

Happy long weekend all!

A BIBLE FOR MOM

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers .

One evening , they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the Christmas gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " And I had a large theatre built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: " Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the
Good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love, Mom

Saturday's Email of the Week: Talking God Today...

Saturday's Emails of the Week

This one pokes a little fun at all you good faithful out there in the flock. I took a little leeway in my interpretations of these cartoons. Happy Saturday!

In the beginning, there was light...

and it was good.

God made man, then woman and unto them, a child was born

He was a king among men...

The people recognized his words & deeds,

 

never questioning their faith or the path,

but times they were a changing.

Damn crazy Christians!

Happy Saturday all!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Who's Got Talent?

Saturday's Email of the Week

Hello my friends! It has been a busy week for me. Lots of writing, although not much in my personal stash I have to admit. The heat here was wicked hot Tuesday and Wednesday, but dropped way down yesterday and today. All over the place, but at least it is finally beginning to look like summer. The kids have been bugging me to get our new pool set up, but now I must wait for a nice day again. As it is the weekend, rain is forecast for the day. That will forestall strawberry picking too, I'm sure. Oh well, good excuse to clean I guess. Ugh...


On that note, I will share a talented video that popped into my inbox this week. You know if you ever have anything that you think might me laugh, ponder or pause, send me a line. Maybe your email will be featured next Saturday.



Have a great weekend all!

Saturday's Email of the Week: When I am Rich

Saturday's Email of the Week

If it would ever stop raining here then maybe the lawn mowers could roll back out into the yard again. The grass is certainly happily growing, but soggy is the best way to describe my world this week. Sunshine is forecast for the day though, so I shall plan to soak up those rays this weekend (in between my children's busy social calendar - 2 birthday parties this weekend!)

Wishing you sunshine in your part of the world!

***

Turf Rolls on the Rock ...

Two Newfies were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.  Jimmy said, Im gonna do dat when I win da lottery.  What's dat den? asks Mikey.  Send me lawn away to be mowed." ====================================================

Saturday's Email of the Week: I could use some of those

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am not sure if this was sent to me trying to tell me something or not. Hmmm... Well, I am not going to take offence, as it is pretty funny. I don't think I could pull it off, but desperation might force my hand one of these days. I am going out for dinner and then the theater tonight, so maybe I will get my chance yet. Ha.

Happy Saturday and I hope that all my Canadian friends have a lovely, long Victoria Day weekend.

heeheehee!

I Have Succumbed...

I tried. I really did. I dragged my feet, refused to jump on the bandwagon, and swore it would lead to no good!

 I didn’t even look at it. Not a peep!

But the pressure grew. 

AND I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I give up! You win!

You can now find me on Twitter @KatherineKrige

( ^ )

There. A measly 55 words for you folk who have pushed me to the brink of sanity. Now I will never get any work done, sleep or probably even see my family ever again! 

Twitter! Why have you forsaken me!!!

Oh G-Man, what does the future hold now? I shall just have to avoid any more work for the day and tweet out all of the Flash 55s I come across at your place. 

(Please Lord save me from the social media world I have been sucked into. I am weak!)

But Geez its FUN!

Saturday's Email of the Week: For the Ladies

Well, the weather forecast has finally called for a little sunshine for the weekend. In anticipation, I picked up some steaks and might even have to grab a few beerskis to enjoy with them. And despite moaning over the cold, rain and lack of solar companionship, I am going to offer you something on ice today. Well, it might be on ice, but man it sure gets HOT!

Enjoy!!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Was That I Hare I Saw?

Saturday's Email of the Week

Happy Easter Weekend everyone!

While I debated attaching the joke about the man who hits the Easter Bunny that subsequently gets "magically" restored, I thought that this was a little more amusing. 

Watch your coffees folks!

Ahem, are you going to be alright? Good. 

I am dining on our traditional ham dinner with all the trimmings at my sister's house, so might not get back to you today. I hope your Easter dinners are yummy. Pray for this little blogger if you are a church goer, as I can always use all the help I can get. Have a wonderful weekend! 

I will return...

Saturday's Email of the Week: Dear Grannie...

Saturday's Email of the Week

This one is priceless! Gotta love Grannie.

Happy Saturday all! I will be at the London Artists' Studio Tour today helping out my friends Acme Animal, as they display their artistic talents. Hope you have a fabulous day.

Saturday's Email of the Week: Anyone want to adopt a cat?

Awww, look at the cute kitty!

Haven't played along over at 6WS in a while either

so I am going to link in there too.

*Some days you just don't feel like playing along

and that's alright...

Saturday's Email of the Week: Something for Me to Look Forward To - groan...

This one is for the ladies, but I am sure that it might get a giggle from you menfolk. They say you are supposed to start getting Mammograms at 40. After reading this email, I can't wait.

~~~~~

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a
lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician,
say,  "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." 
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to
hear those extenuating circumstances."  I did too so, I listened as the
lady told her story.

"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from
  ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm
Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip
to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to
the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean
in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the
remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body
was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged
between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt
a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a
snag." Then she headed for the door. 
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's
wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right
back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly
how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found
me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting,
Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the
power was off.. 
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo
sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And
silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between
the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!