Saturday's Email of the Week: Scars

Saturday's Email of the Week

Saturday has arrived again. I have to say that I am glad to see the week go. There wasn't anything extraordinary about this past week. The week before was rough though and I was riding out the after-effects from it all this week. Do you ever have those moments? Pushing yourself to survive in the middle of a crisis, only to be limp and stumble once you can breathe again? Well, that's me. I can handle crisis. I can be strong and stand up to do what I feel I have to do. Sometimes I might want to hide under a rock or run in the other direction, but I know when I have to face something.

Last week I did.

I put my cat down, then went to a family member's funeral with the girls a few days later. I didn't have to go to the funeral. It was my husband's grandmother, whom I haven't had much of a relationship with since Brad died, but I felt that I should for the kid's sake. Not that they knew her either. And not that they truly cared that she died. I don't say that to be callous, but they are 5 & 6 and not emotionally invested in a relationship that didn't have any flesh and bones to it.  Sad, but true and there is nothing that I can do about that now. What I could do though was take them to the funeral to meet some of their other relatives that are still around. Again, they weren't invested in the experience, but I suspect that some day they will be grateful that I made the effort. Perhaps they will be able to gain a new relationship with some of those family members down the road, that would not have occurred without my intervention. Or not, but I felt like it was my last opportunity to reach out and make that effort, so I grasped a hold of it.

This week, I have suffered for it all. I miss my cat. I dragged up old broken relationships with other members of the kids family, that would seem to be beyond repair forever now. I flogged myself for not being able to fix it all and make it better. But I have to move beyond that. I accept that time has moved on, because I have to, but still feel broken by those failed relationships. It is out of my hands though, so I must let it go. This week I had to process that though and try to shake myself away from feeling bad at kin lost. I have to accept my failings and those of others, and say "it is alright". I have to say and pinch myself until I believe it that "I am alright". Because I am. I cannot bring back a lost kitty, lost grandparents or great-grandparents. But I can accept them, grieve the losses, and be strong enough to let my children see that grief and the resilience that comes with moving on. I have to, because I love them more than anything and they deserve to have a parent that is as stable and imperfect as I can be.

So I guess this week was about healing. It can be an ugly process and I often disparage myself as I move through it. In healing though, once the scar has served its purpose, it falls off to show the fresh new skin underneath. It might be thinner, but it will thicken in time and those scars will be almost invisible to the naked eye. I guess that is what I am gunning for. I have an ugly coat around me, but it will fall off to reveal a beautiful new me underneath. That is the hope anyway.

Peace

Here is my handshake for you.

Saturday's Email of the Week: The Dating Game

Saturday's Email of the Week

I love this! Make sure to watch the video to the very end. Its priceless! I can so relate.

Welcome to the dating scene...

 
BOB from Jacob Frey on Vimeo.

Saturday's Email of the Week: Memories...

Saturday's Email of the Week

Its Saturday! Not quite back to quiet boring Saturdays just yet though, I am afraid. It will be a busy day today, but a good one. We are celebrating my littlest baby's 5th birthday today! There will be ice cream cake, glow-in-the-dark bowling, stinky shoes and a gaggle of kids hopped up on sugar and adrenaline driving me crazy! But I won't have to clean up the mess afterwards, so I am ready to go! The house will have to be cleaned though, as my sister will be in town for the festivities, but it makes for a good excuse to pull out the vacuum. Now, off to climb on and zoom we go! 


Happy Saturday all! Here's your bit of humour and history lesson for the week:

***

Have you ever wondered  why our great grandparents all had such fond  memories of their youth?

Well... I'm  surprised they remembered anything at all  !!!

Forget Tums &  Tylenol.

Forget Aleve &  Benedryl. 
Look at the cool  stuff they had back then!

A bottle of Bayer's   'Heroin'. Between 1890 and  1910 heroin was sold as a non-addictive  substitute for morphine..
It was also used  to treat children suffering with a strong cough.
And not once did my grandmother offer me  Metcalfe Coca Wine when we went to her place for dinner!

Coca Wine, anyone? Metcalf's Coca Wine  was one of a  huge variety of wines with  cocaine on the market. Everybody used to say  that it would make you happy and it would also  work as a medicinal  treatment. 

Mariani  Wine.Mariani wine (1875)  was the most  famous Coca wine of it's  time. Pope Leo XIII used to carry one  bottle with him all the time. He awarded Angelo  Mariani (the producer) with a Vatican gold  medal.

Maltine.Produced by the  Maltine Manufacturing Company of New York . It  was suggested that you should take a full glass  with or after every meal. Children should only  take half a glass.



A  paperweight:
A paperweight  promoting C.F. Boehringer & Soehne (  Mannheim , Germany ). They were proud of being  the biggest producers in the world of products  containing Quinine and Cocaine. 

Opium for   Asthma:At 40% alcohol plus  3 grams of opium per tablet. It didn't cure  you... but you didn't care!

Cocaine Tablets   (1900).All stage actors,  singers, teachers and preachers had to have them  for a maximum performance. Great to 'smooth' the  voice.

Cocaine drops for  toothache.Very popular for  children in 1885. Not only did they relieve the  pain, they made the children very happy!


Opium for  newborns.I'm sure this would  make them sleep well.  (not only the Opium,  but also the 46% alcohol)




It's no wonder they  were called, "The Good Old  Days".

>From cradle to  grave... everyone was STONED  !!!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Not For the Faint of Heart

Saturday's Email of the Week

Ok, I am going to pick on a certain retail store today. See if you can guess what it is before you watch the video. While I have been known to shop there before, I can't help but pass along these gems. I am sure some of you have seen snippets of this, but I am feeling nasty and am going to share anyway. I am going to start with a picture (that just makes me want to pee myself, but also makes me kind of sad),

then I am going to jump to this video. This just makes me want to either wet myself or run screaming for the hills, never to shop there again (unless I pick up some hot pink spandex that is slashed enough to show off all of my 50 tattoos, hickeys and bruises collected on my trailer trash body - NOT!)

 

Did I warn you to put down your coffee cup this morning? Oops, sorry. Well, have a lovely weekend folks. I am road tripping again today. Off to the Big Smoke with a certain someone to take in some dinner, music and hopefully dancing. The best part is that it is minus kids! Woohoo!!!!! See ya!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving!

Saturday's Email of the Week

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends! I am sure you aren't surprised to learn that I am travelling this weekend because of it. The joys of having relatives spread all over the place. We are looking forward to a warm and sunny weekend  here(mid-20s in Celsius- not sure the translation for F, but thinking in the 80s). I have thrown off the shackles of work and am about to put on my walking shoes. The woods are calling! My sister and I are about to embark on an adventure with all the kids, collecting leaves, pine cones, acorns and more for a Thanksgiving centerpiece for dinner tomorrow. Therefore I have to fly, before I get yelled at!

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and enjoy the fine weather. I leave you with a little humour to go out into your weekend with. Peace!

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a  Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH.

Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"         So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
  Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old  ladies, two in the  front seat and three in the  back...wide eyed and white as ghosts.
 
The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
 
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should  know that  driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other   drivers."
 
"Slower than the speed  limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit  exactly...twenty-two kilometers an hour!"...the  old woman says a bit proudly. 
 
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit.
 
A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
 
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a peep this whole time," the officer asks.
 
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Highway189."

Saturday's Email of the Week: Busyness

Saturday's Email of the Week

Oh, oh, It's Staurday night! My week passed in a blur and now is almost over. To be perfectly honest, I have not even thought of my computer today either. Ran the kids to their rolling & tumbling class this morning. Ran at the gym (cross trainer actually, but whatever). Ran home for lunch. Threats of frost this evening had me racing to get my rosemary plant out of the ground and into the house. I barely had time to wash the stink off & get a present wrapped, before getting T. to her birthday party this afternoon. Run, run, run some more! Another birthday party tomorrow will have us out of the house again, but I hope that I will be able to find a few minutes of down time at some point. Mind you, the floor is in desperate need of a cleaning...

Ach, worries for next week. It will be another packed week in anticipation of the short week following, but that's okay. For right now, I think that I will just leave this short and sweet. All the running seems to have my time management skills a little sharper, so there is small mercies. And in general, a smile plays across my lips. Life is good.

Today.

but of course perhaps this is my problem...

Saturday's Email of the Week - Time to Breathe

Saturday's Email of the Week

My week has been a whirlwind of activity. With two new clients, plus a few other existing clients, I have had to learn how to better utilize my time management skills. Hmm, yeah. Have to say that they have sucked so far this week. Up late most nights and crossed eyed in the morning over coffee. What with a "Meet the Teacher" night thrown in mid week, a PA day at the end of the week and a house full of guests expected for the weekend, I feel like I have not had a minute for me at all. We still made it to swimming lessons, ergo a dip in the pool for me too, but my aquatics class was vetoed due to eye appointments for the girls. Always at the bottom of the list it would appear.

I don't mean to sound like I am complaining though. I am thrilled to have new clients. In fact thrilled to be able to say I have clients at all! Last year at this time, I was blogging away for myself like mad, half-heartedly blogging for a baby boutique and doing some basic PR work for a friend's blog talk radio show. Better than nothing, but not like this year. Can I tell you a secret? I even had business cards printed out a while back, as it looked like I just might have need of them. And oh boy, I have! Well, I have given them out to friends, family and a few other souls, but still!

So before the rooster crows morning, I will leave you with a brief look at what my week has looked like via my inbox.

"you okay?" - SL


"send along the info about this story you mentioned" - DC

"Can I drop off your wood about 1:30?" - CM


"retweeted to 729 followers" - AI


"Check out my stuff" - MC


"today i am in a very awkward state. i could use a word or two from a friend. my love to y'all in an attempt not to hate." - JT


"I'll get back to you on time, but dinner first would be fun" - CA 


"Let me know so I can present the idea to the board" - ME 


"A new device named "home" logged into your Facebook account"


"LAUGH!!!!!" - BL


"Register before September 23rd" - LSBC


"Would you consider writing a press release" - MC


"My goodness! I'm speechless for once. Thank you so so so so much." - SP


"I hope all is well" - CM

I like that last one. How about one more that put a smile on my face from BL. I hope you all have a great weekend and find time to stop and smell the roses! I sure am going to try (after I vacuum the house, wash the sheets on the beds, mop the floor, buy some groceries, clean the counters and put away the salsa that I canned a few days ago). Agggghhhhhh!

~~~

 The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they
watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the
wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade..

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He
took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with
a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could
be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will
be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why,
nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven..'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship
golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to
exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man.. This is Heaven, it is all
free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the
decaffeinated tea?' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied, 'You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or
sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or....'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your fucking Bran
Flakes.

We could have been here ten years ago!'

Saturday's Email of the Week: Somebody Hand Me a Kleenex

Saturday's Email of the Week

Oh my GOD, I thought I was going to stop breathing while watching this! I laughed so hard during the video that tears were literally squirting out of my eyes. My sides hurt and I worried that the girls would sleepily wander down the hall wondering what all the noise was about. While they remained blissfully sleeping, I snorted and chortled right through to the end of the skit.

Now technically this video was directed to me through Facebook, but I got an email that it was there from my inbox. And I went directly to Youtube to watch it, effectively avoiding losing 10 minutes of my life scanning my Facebook wall, so I think it counts! Anyway, it is my call and I think that this video is well worth sharing, even if any of you have seen it before. If you've never seen "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", then you are in for a treat. Put down your coffee and just try to keep poker-faced while you watch the antics of Drew Carey (super funny host), Ryan Stiles (a way tall drink of water), Wayne Brady (so dreamy!), Colin Mochrie (Canadian, eh!) and a surprise guest!

I hope that your week didn't end too wet. As I write this, it is too early to tell how bad Irene will be, but she is all over the news. I wish you all health, security, and happiness, plus a dry bed at night. Be well.

Peace.

Saturday's Email of the Week: A Religious Debate

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am out of town today at a wedding. I should be up by now showering, doing hair and makeup & trying to convince the girls that they should let me do their hair as well. At least I should have Grandma to help me out, so maybe she can pull their hair into cute little piggies to set off their fancy dresses. I shall be pulling on a brand new dress with a set of pretty new shoes to go with. I would like to say I am a girlie girl, but this was my first new dress in about 13-14 years. My other fancy dress that has always been my stand-by staple was one I wore as a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. I figured it was time that I could do with a little fresh gussying up. Perhaps I will be able to have someone snap a picture or two so that I can share. Until then, I leave you with this week's email of the week. It came in early in the week and got a good snort from me. I hope you enjoy! Have a super weekend!

The Pope and The Rabbi


Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our faiths.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," said the rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews but I told him emphatically that we were staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine

*******************************

Saturday's Email of the Week: Cleaning Day

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am lost in the chaos that is my basement. We are in the middle of one of our 1-2 hour long clean-up sessions. Lord help me! The day started with homemade muffins, but it is noon and I am ready for a drink!

No time though. I must go back downstairs with the vacuum now. I might even pull out the mop, while I hand dusters to the kids. How does it always get so bad, so fast? I ask you!

Well, this calls for humour, since there isn't much downstairs. I hope you all have sparkly Saturdays! I will be needing a bath and a drink in a few!

*****

Good morning, this is called following instruction precisely...


A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and
buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why on earth did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"


 He replied, "They had eggs."


This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males.

have a nice day......

~*~*~

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and CBIC bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the CBIC Bank:

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

CBIC: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe you should turn it over to collections.'

CBIC: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: 'So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

CBIC: 'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

CBIC: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?'

CBIC: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

CBIC: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

CBIC:(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.'(Lawyer info given)

CBIC: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: fax number is given.

After they get the fax:

CBIC: 'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

CBIC: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

CBIC: 'That might help.'

Family Member: Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number

CBIC: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'Well, what the f**k do you do with dead people on your planet?'

Saturday's Email of the Week: Thoughtfulness

Saturday's Email of the Week

I am feeling a far cry better this week than I was last Saturday. Hoo boy, but that strep infection knocked me on my behind in a big way. Very nasty stuff, and no I do not have the pleasure to have picked it up by sucking face with some poor slob that would pass me those kinds of cooties. Many of you kind people did inquire nicely as to my health too, and for that I thank you. On Monday, I couldn't lift a case of pop. Tuesday, my brain was still firing on only half its cylinders (making writing for a living pretty painful!), but by the end of the week it was coming back to me. Well, I guess you can be the judge of my mental state though. What say you?

Ok, who asked you anyway!!

So one of the lovely people that tried to cheer me up was Penny, from over at Alias Jinksy. Last week, I shared a joke about the heat in Texas (or insert whatever hot place you might call home). She responded by sharing this beautiful picture that she crafted in my email inbox. I was touched and love this beautiful rainy day scene. You made my day with a gift of thoughtfulness Penny!

I also got a video from my trusty source Bill that made me laugh out loud. He is always so thoughtful to fill my inbox with a vast array of emails to peruse. Well, this week I have needed the laughs so... After feeling like everything coming out of my mouth was dumb, dumb and dumber, this was right up my alley. Oi Vey, but my brain got lost in the slow shuffle! While this doesn't improve my brain functioning, a little laughter doesn't hurt either. 

And just to let you know, I won't be responding to any comments until later this evening or tomorrow, as the girls and I went to their father's aunt's trailer for a visit. Just a short road trip, but overnight this year! Yippee, off to Ipperwash!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Need a Giggle

Saturday's Email of the Week

I have been out of the loop this week. It started off me trying to play catch up after being gone for most of last week camping. We had a blast, but it was right back into the swing of things on Monday and trying to get ahead. Thankfully Monday was a good writing day, as Tuesday I started to sneeze. By Wednesday my throat hurt and I went to bed early, only to be like the walking dead sweating and dripping and scrambling for a thermometer. The floor was the only cool place to be, but lying there I just felt too exposed. From whom? No one, but I worried that my children would stumble over me on the way to the bathroom and be worried that I was lying in the hallway. Yeah, it was bad. I managed to fumble back to bed and pretty much stayed there for two days. I was weak, sore and had a metallic taste in my mouth, that today I finally noticed equated to my tongue being gray. Yuck.

With help from a friend delivering tylenol and taking my children to daycare, I managed to sleep most of the rest of Friday away. By the time they came home at 5pm, I was able to finally stand for 5 minutes again. Hooray! I even read stories at bedtime, which I didn't have the throat to do, even if I could have kept my eyes open for long enough. Victory is mine. Well, maybe not victory, as I am still pretty limp, but I will survive.

So I apologize for not being around much the last few weeks. I need a little humour to make me feel more a'rights, so hope you enjoy these dandies from my inbox this week. Feel free to send me anything that you think I might enjoy or want to share on my email of the week. Happy Saturday!



To make this story more relevant, please feel free to substitute
"Florida" or "Georgia" for "Texas"!

Dear Diary,


Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've
finally found my home. I love it here.


June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.


June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.


July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water
balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned my
lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes
again.


July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.


July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house
and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever
come here?


Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.


Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!


Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to
the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my
legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and
baked cat.


Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next,
so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the
cactus can't live in this damn heat.


Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot
to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for
you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to
live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

Saturday's Email of the Week: Suggestion to Beat the Heat - Cucumbers

Saturday's Email of the Week

Well, this week I am out of town sweating away in a little tent with the girls. I am not writing from there, as we are without running water, electricity or many of the other luxuries that we are so accustomed to. No, I am close to the Tomato Capitol of Canada and near the southern-most tip of our great country. Yup, reporting to you from Wheatley Provincial Park today and headed to the beach again. 


But just because I am off goofing around making 'smores and sitting fireside, doesn't mean I won't share a little something with you from the old email inbox from this week. This interesting email was an informative little number all about cucumbers. Enjoy!


PS. If they are such a great way to rehydrate, we might have to stock up on them, as before we left for our camping holidays, heat alerts were being issued all across Southern Ontario. I foresee lots of beverages being drunk, cucumbers being eaten and plenty of water play at the beach.

WOW! 

WHAT A LITTLE GEM THE CUCUMBER IS.
I WILL LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY NOW.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need. Every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon? Put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a Cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that Quick pick-me-up that can last for Hours.

 3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a Cucumber slice along the mirror. It will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, Spa-like fragrance.

 4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few Slices in a small pie tin and your garden will Be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give Off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

 5. Looking for a Fast and easy way to remove cellulite before Going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or Two of cucumbers along your problem area for a Few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber Cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, Firming up the outer layer and reducing the Visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles Too!!!

 6. Want to avoid a hangover or Terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B Vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that Afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers Have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for Quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and You realize that you don't have enough time to Polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber Over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a Quick and durable shine that not only looks Great but also repels Water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a Cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire Cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water. The chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce Stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a Business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 Seconds to eliminate bad breath, the Phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel?Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but it won't leave streaks and won't harm You fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a Pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the Cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen Writing, also works great on crayons and markers That the kids have used to decorate the Walls!!

 Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better and safer ways to Solve life's everyday Problems...

Saturday's Email of the Week: Birthday Wishes All Over Again

Email of the Week

While this video came to me compliments of Facebook, I did get an email regarding other songs by the same band. I personally liked "Cake" best though, so thought I would share it here with you.

The occasion this week was a friend's birthday. A long-lost friend and erstwhile boyfriend. In fact, the recipient of this song was my very first boyfriend. He was the one who introduced me to ska and began to open the door for me to an alternative world. When I met him, he was a skin head, rode a motorcycle, owned a scooter, and managed to cook me a shaky meal of spaghetti (with the help of telephone step-by-step directions from a sweet friend that couldn't resist helping the petrified young man). He bought me a super-soft teddy bear with flowers for our first Valentine's Day. No boy had ever given me anything as sweet as that before.

Ah yes, I was 17 and smitten, but there were underlying problems that just couldn't be resolved. This dear boy gave me a taste of pure romance, but lived an achingly long drive away. An hour and a half drive, once a week, every other, then finally once a month killed this fledgling relationship. I was in high school and he was a  college man. Our futures were uncertain and ultimately I bet against them. When I broke his heart, I broke mine too. My young years somehow knew that it was the right thing to do though.

but damn, it hurt.

For my fellow Cancer friend, I share this song today though. He always made me laugh and had an endearing smile. I am lucky to call him a friend still.

So for Saturday's email of the week, I share with you "Cake", by Rather Good. Perfect, I think. Happy Saturday everyone. And happy birth-month to all my fellow cancers out there celebrating a birthday this month. WE ROCK!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Good Canadian Fun

Saturday's Email of the Week

I totally wish that I had received this email last week to share with you for Canada day! This week's email/video came from my Mother. I know that she is a fan of comics and I have seen her bust a gut watching this guy before. Russell Peters is an hilarious Canadian comic hailing from just down the road from me in Brampton. While Peters has since relocated to LA, he still comes home to hang with his Canadian friends and family that helped to start him on his path to fame. And what is his path to fame paved with - jokes poking fun at every ethnic group under the sun. While he often pokes fun at his Indian heritage, the video today ribs his good ole Canadian peeps. No doubt, eh! 

Enjoy and Happy Saturday!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Keeping it Light

Saturday's Email of the Week

So Saturday has arrived again. I have to say, it has been a crazy week, what with trying to get ready for the long weekend this weekend. Nothing that can't wait until another day, in the grand scheme of things though. I managed to get most everything done that I wanted to before sneaking away for a visit with the grandparents. Right about now, I am hoping to either be sleeping in, or perhaps lounging in Grandpa's boat catching a few rays, if not a few fish for dinner. It sounds like we will have company as well, as my sister shall be descending upon the family gathering as well. Woot, woot!! Happy Canada Day celebrations shall be had!

I hope that you all are having a wonderful weekend as well and that my American friends are enjoying their own long weekend fun in the name of the 4th of July. I will raise a glass of cheer to all of us celebrating our nations! Hip, hip hooray for summertime & the LONG weekend!!

In keeping with the spirit of celebration, I am leaving this light and fun today. Here is a funny video about the joys of exercise and the stairs, plus maybe I will throw in a little joke afterwards as well.

Happy long weekend all!

A BIBLE FOR MOM

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers .

One evening , they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the Christmas gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " And I had a large theatre built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: " Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the
Good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love, Mom

Saturday's Email of the Week: Adding This One To My Bucket List

Saturday's Email of the Week

Okay, this is a pretty wicked looking adventure excursion. I might have to add it to my bucket list at some point. If I had one, that is. While I might just start out with plain old skydiving, can you believe parahawking? I have never even heard of that, and I bet it would be an amazing thrill! You have to check this out.



Happy Saturday everyone! I am still buried under a mountain of strawberries after last weekend's strawberry picking excursion, but the goodies are lining up on the shelves; strawberry jam, strawberry-raspberry freezer jam, strawberry syrup, strawberry lemonade (concentrate). I still want to attempt strawberry leather, and am debating between strawberry-rhubarb jam or strawberry-banana jam. What do think? Anyone else have any good strawberry recipes?

Saturday's Email of the Week: Talking God Today...

Saturday's Emails of the Week

This one pokes a little fun at all you good faithful out there in the flock. I took a little leeway in my interpretations of these cartoons. Happy Saturday!

In the beginning, there was light...

and it was good.

God made man, then woman and unto them, a child was born

He was a king among men...

The people recognized his words & deeds,

 

never questioning their faith or the path,

but times they were a changing.

Damn crazy Christians!

Happy Saturday all!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Who's Got Talent?

Saturday's Email of the Week

Hello my friends! It has been a busy week for me. Lots of writing, although not much in my personal stash I have to admit. The heat here was wicked hot Tuesday and Wednesday, but dropped way down yesterday and today. All over the place, but at least it is finally beginning to look like summer. The kids have been bugging me to get our new pool set up, but now I must wait for a nice day again. As it is the weekend, rain is forecast for the day. That will forestall strawberry picking too, I'm sure. Oh well, good excuse to clean I guess. Ugh...


On that note, I will share a talented video that popped into my inbox this week. You know if you ever have anything that you think might me laugh, ponder or pause, send me a line. Maybe your email will be featured next Saturday.



Have a great weekend all!

Saturday's Email of the Week: Who has this kind of time on their hands?

Saturday's Email of the Week

Happy Saturday all! I am traipsing around the nation this weekend, but queued up a video for you to enjoy while I am gone. As was noted in the email from P., these boys have a little too much time on their hands, but we can just sit back and marvel at how their brains work. Quite impressive, I have to say. I bet it took a long time to put together, but the evidence is there in their jumpers.

And they have a good message to boot;
OK - Go: This too shall pass...