Ohm

    This week I feel the well is dry. Words are parched from my less than creative brain. I have exciting things coming up in my life. New opportunities that might spring up with a dollar or two attached to them. Spring has sprung, which means that I will be outside tending to the garden and looking for fairies behind new shoots and leaves. That is always a good meditation for my soul. Alas, I have been feeling hollow though when I look for more depth. I saw a couple of old acquaintances this morning and invariably the conversation got around to "So are you working?". My part-time work is wonderful, but elicits a crooked smile from others. It also elicits a groan from my bank account. My Spring renewal feels more like a returning to my roots of angst. I wonder if I will ever be good enough for me? I keep on judging me against the past and society's norms and am finding a hard sell to measure up. Perhaps a round of ohms on the yoga mat this afternoon will give me the boost I crave. Thanks for visiting. 

Namaste

Home

I am not 

who I used to be

So many years ago,

full and free.

With ne'er a care

 I wandered the land.

Sought life and experience,

twas all unplanned.

Now, I am lost

seeking a compass point true

excitement of old

now brings something new.

I want to be.

I want to hold

the security of thee

let me unfold.

becoming

I am

Becoming

the journey 

and excitement

that I never sought

found

found me unawares

and sits and stares

as now I just want to stop

and be 

Home.

still waiting

I am sitting at my kitchen table. It is 7:07 PM. My youngest daughter has a plate of food in front of her that I am sure is icy cold. Dinner started closer to the 6:00 mark. My eldest  child left the table about 15 minutes ago. She inquired about dessert, but I reminded her that her sister was still eating. With a shrug she left, saying "call me when it is time for dessert!" We shall see. I think I need another drink...

Shattered by faith

I drive by your lonely eyes

staring into nothing,

trying desperately to look 

at nowhere;

Alone.

Is that me?

Driving by,

or looking into 

a vacant tomorrow

on flickering screen.

You refuse to see

me standing here

tentative hands

wanting to hold

your anything.

Your safety 

in yesterday's failed promise.

Shattered by faith

that life will 

go on.

Spring Plantings

Signs of Spring and cool sunshine

Brought me outside

To turn the earth

and feel dirt

with fingers 

Pale from winter's ways.

Insistent breezes

blew sweet remembrances

and promises of 

a bountiful tomorrow.

DNA dug in.

Yesterdays rains,

Aided by a watering can's drops

Finished morning's work.

Hope lives

in tomorrow's turn.