Saturday's Email of the Week: Something for Me to Look Forward To - groan...

This one is for the ladies, but I am sure that it might get a giggle from you menfolk. They say you are supposed to start getting Mammograms at 40. After reading this email, I can't wait.

~~~~~

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a
lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician,
say,  "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." 
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to
hear those extenuating circumstances."  I did too so, I listened as the
lady told her story.

"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from
  ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm
Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip
to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to
the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean
in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the
remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body
was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged
between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt
a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a
snag." Then she headed for the door. 
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's
wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right
back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly
how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found
me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting,
Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the
power was off.. 
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo
sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And
silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between
the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!

 

A Reawakening

The snow melts

and waters flow.

A muddy sight

for cheery soul

Spring is near

and birds now sing

Life reawakes

rebirth begins

Clad in squishy boots

and wet snowpants

my girls point out

a line of ants

We follow close

And then we see

That all those ants

Have entered the home of ME!

^^^ ^^^ ^^^

Well G-Man, while I am thrilled that Winter seems to be retreating under Spring's imminent onslaught, I am not impressed that it has brought those little creatures to life. At least in my house. Yuck. Hate ants in the house. Better than in your pants though, I guess.

Happy Spring folks.

ting-sha bliss

A special moment of release

a favourite one

of my month

when

everything

dis ahhh peers,

but the music

tones fill me up

beat in my heart

(when I cannot)

tender emotions

raise hairs, just as they 

let unseen 

energies slip away

like water scrubbing

the earth of my soul

energy unblocked

I am left limp

dazed in the beauty

of  this sound,

this moment

It happens every time

and yet I marvel

that there are hard niches

that can still release their hold

with our passion's beat

passion's

beat, beat, beat

pounding 

all those pains,

strains with refrains

I am left

clean

pure

white with whimsy's

touch

this smile born 

of God's release;

my penance

beaten on a drum

and given wings on

the tones of 

that ting-

sha 

bliss

I have been gone and super-busy the last week, but
found inspiration for a little free-verse
for my friends at One Shot Wednesday
via my monthly drum circle

No Chamba, No Marriage, Just School

Now though, I sat in front of hundreds of nervous pupils as they received their marks. I was at the end of a line of  the school’s twelve teachers, and tried to follow the proceedings as best I could. I was able to get the gist of the fact that they were reading out all the students marks from recent testing, and the results were not good. New testing formats had been implemented and it would seem that the majority of the students had failed. I silently wondered at the practice of reading grades aloud, so that everyone could hear how well or poorly one did, but then remembered their lack of supplies. They could not spare the paper to write down individual student's marks.

Once the dismal results had been read, speeches began.  I was lucky to get a quiet English synopsis of the speeches that the teachers addressed to the students. There was an announcement that a new junior primary school was to be opened the next term. It would only be for Standards one through three, but it would help to reduce the walk that some of the children had to make, and the hope was that the school could be expanded later. I was shocked to learn that some of the students had to walk upwards of four-and-a-half kilometers to school every day. The reality of that would be that many of those children would just not bother to make it all the way to school on many a day.

The Head Master continued and spoke of the ills of “chamba” or marijuana. I looked out at the children in front of me and was saddened that this was a reality that needed to be spoken, but glad to hear that the issue was being addressed. Another teacher spoke against the practice of early marriages. It would seem that many families married off their children young, so that there were fewer mouths to feed. The problem with that though, was that it only served to create new young mouths to feed.  When children begin having children at age 14 or 15, there was time enough to have quite a few babies.

I processed the experience the best I could through my translator, trying not to disrupt the proceedings. My head swam with the details and my heart ached at this very real picture of life in Malawi. All of these smiling faces in front of me held such beautiful promise, but their odds of success in the school system and later in life were bleak. Some of these children would continue on to high school. Even less would be able to attend university. As the ramifications threatened to overwhelm me, a young girl crept over and tugged at my skirt, reaching for my hand to touch. With a smile I returned to the present, and promised myself that I would not forget this day or the lessons that these genuine people offered me. The warm heart of Africa had stolen mine. 

A Day of Rest

brain empty of any

hint of cognitive thought

replaced by sinking sensation

that sambuca might not have been

such a good idea after all -

Thank God for McD's playland

~

Monkey Man, I swear I didn't ask for any of those shots, but I guess I didn't refuse them either. One of these days I am going to learn...
 
I am out of town visiting my sister, but am joining in for the Sunday 160. Happy Sunday!