Me

   A self-indulgence kind of day. Really more like week. Since hanging my paint brush up, I have not done a thing. Barely even accomplished groceries (dire straights on the weekend as we ran out of milk!). This morning I went out for coffee with a friend and if anyone has ever done coffee with me before, you know it takes a while! The coffee is the excuse, but the conversation is the key. I really do love my coffee. Such wonderful thoughts drift through my head and the air in a coffee shop. Can you blame it on the brew? Probably not, but it could help with its warmth and caffeine to wake up the brain. Set it on a new level. Yup, I like it.
   I follow my coffee date with more me time this aft. Embrace me in the warmth of an ohm at my weekly yoga class. I don't know what I would have done without it over the years. Stands me up, bends me over and makes life flow again. I walk out taller on most days. ahh. The day will wind down with a newer monthly activity; drumming. This is a surprising activity that I have fallen in love with as well. Meditation on the skin of a drum and the edge of singing bowl. Shake away all the shadows with rain sticks and maracas (well shakers of one sort or another). Drift me out and make me smile.
   So I have peace on today. My day of me. I am trying to just be plain old happy about it. No guilt parades allowed! Leave your shoulds at the door. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I get windows.

morning thoughts

Snow flies outside my window
  (cover all the winter uglies)
Mama earth is taking winter back!
 drive carefully my pretties
   My lovelies
For raindrops from days past
  will catch you
    and send you
       for unwanted rides....
           Whoa!

The Gift

I have oceans surrounding me
   on my pillows.
Salty hair catching
   love thoughts from cheeks
Beautiful shadows
pass briefly through
day dreams

   I am living.
   I have lived.
   They are gone...

If I blink,
will I miss them?
Thoughts and cares
   given and gone.
Do I value enough?
Have I cherished enough?
Every tear drop
   a gift from yesterday's song

A passing gives us stop.
The stop offers a dawn
For all the crushing waves
   light flickers
Even dark
  a dark of nowhere
The dark is not complete
  sparkle, fizzle, sputter
Somewhere a gray dawn

A hand emerges
  dim
There.
Accepting, offering
My unasked for gift.
A screamed for need
Silent eyes begging for mercy
  And you were there.

Betty

Life
Happens, flows
  Goes.

Does it matter what we learn?
We all die.

Spirits exist
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.

Hug. Smile
Goodbye.

Too Many Sorrows

   Tomorrow night I meet with the ladies from my book club. This is a relatively new experience for me. I have never been a member of a book club before. In fact there are very few clubs I have really belonged to at all. Oh sure, when I was a kid I took swimming lessons, joined brownies and was on a baseball team, but there are not too terribly many groups I have joined as an adult. As I am really much more social now, I suppose this is a bit of a shame. I have been a product of my generation  and perhaps pushed by the time period of my life. Who has time to think of me or I, when there are babies and young children that are needing one's attention.  Not to mention the challenges of a life threatening disease descended upon one's household. Certainly no time for me, but I am slowly working on that. Not that I have put my children out on the street or even find myself out living the high life every night. Far from it, but I have carved out a few niches just for me. No "Mommies" allowed (although most of us have children). Just women with the common interest of books and companionship. It is very refreshing. It also helps that nibblies and bevvies are offered as well. One can never get too highbrow for yummy nibbly bits.

   So tomorrow we shall be discussing a book by Alice Munro entitled "Too Much Happiness". I did review the first story in the book a while back in my blog. It peeked my interest. I have to say though that the rest of the book left me feeling a little dark. I have not read many of Alice Munro's previous books. Truth be told, I can only say that I remember having read one other book of hers, but can not truly remember much aside from that it was also a collection of short stories. The present  book was the winner of the 2009 Man Booked International Prize. That means it must be good, right?  Well, I am not sure, but I am intrigued to hear the critiques tomorrow evening.

   "Too Much Happiness"  is a collection of ten stories that in my opinion are all on the dark side. While the opening story "Dimension" holds a glimmer of hope for rebirth, this feeling does not necessarily carry through the rest of the stories. The stories are generally told from a first person's perspective, mostly from that of a woman (aside from Face and Wood). Many of the characters have lived through great personal struggles (death- Dimensions, Deep Holes & Free Radicals, divorce - Fiction, disfigurement - Face). While sometimes there is closure for the character at the end of the story (Marlene finally faces a childhood tragedy in Child's Play, Sophia has all her heart's desires about to come true in Too Much Happiness) more often they are left with more questions (why did this all happen in Wenlock's Edge, what direction is life headed next in Wood). There is  personal struggle abounding in the stories on these pages, many that are life changing (Sally discovers that after the loss of her husband and estrangement from her son, she can begin again in Deep Holes), some that are just recounted as a blip in time (a woman recounts working for a dying man in her youth and the intricacies of human relationships that unfold that summer in Some Women). What I find lacking is any excuse to smile. I do not always need a happy ending or humour abounding, but life is not all tragedy and gloom. Someone asked me if I felt the title pulled the stories together. Interesting thought, but happiness is not illustrated in any of these people's lives. They are all serious and not really asking for our sympathies. They certainly do not want to share any joys. In a word, I feel the book could be titled differently. "Too Many Sorrows", speaks more volumes in my books. Of course I did not write the book and I am not receiving the royalties from it. So hey, what do I know?