Shattered by faith

I drive by your lonely eyes

staring into nothing,

trying desperately to look 

at nowhere;

Alone.

Is that me?

Driving by,

or looking into 

a vacant tomorrow

on flickering screen.

You refuse to see

me standing here

tentative hands

wanting to hold

your anything.

Your safety 

in yesterday's failed promise.

Shattered by faith

that life will 

go on.

Spring Plantings

Signs of Spring and cool sunshine

Brought me outside

To turn the earth

and feel dirt

with fingers 

Pale from winter's ways.

Insistent breezes

blew sweet remembrances

and promises of 

a bountiful tomorrow.

DNA dug in.

Yesterdays rains,

Aided by a watering can's drops

Finished morning's work.

Hope lives

in tomorrow's turn.

Mosi-oa-Tunya

   The game parks of Botswana were a thing to behold. We were no more than a breath away from animals that could make a snack out of us in a heartbeat at any given moment. Over the fire, we discussed the origin of species and argued religion in good-natured tones. It seemed appropriate, as we were so far from any reminders of the civilized world and all that we associated with. Always we were mindful of our surroundings and the stark beauty they possessed. We knew we were very privileged to place our footprints there and tried to respect the world around us as best we could.

   The tail end of our trip was an adventure of another sort though. We would again be faced with nature in all her wrath, but this time with a twist. We would not be idly sitting back and watching the world go by. Our last stop before looping back to South Africa was Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. Mosi-oa-Tunya or “the smoke that thunders”, as the locals call it, was magnificent to behold. While it may not be the highest waterfall in the world, the curtain of water that falls over its edge gives it the distinction of being considered the largest due to the sheer volume that flows over its side. The landscape  immediately surrounding the falls has become a lush rain forest due to the constant mist that shrouds the area. Graceful ferns and other flora thrive where a few miles yonder the earth is scrubby and dry. The vegetation was not what brought us to Victoria Falls though. While our little troupe did wander through the Park admiring its beauty, the next day we were headed downstream.

   After watching a video that scared the bejesus out of me, I was pale and unconvinced. Barb and Sue laughed and Karel refused to accept my shaking head and pleads of “no!”. Everyone was doing it. Finally, it was my turn to step up to the counter. With huge misgivings and a last look back at the pictures on the wall, I agreed. I was coerced into signing up for a white water rafting adventure. With names like “Overland Truck Eater”, “Oblivion” and “Devil’s Toilet Bowl” and the claims that over half of the rapids were class 5 (class 6 is considered un-runnable), it was no wonder my knees were wobbly. No amount of drinks the night before could muster up the courage I sought, but rising before daylight to descend into the gorge I found myself pushed along by my new best friends. My dry mouth and shaking hands were laughed off by tour guides and we descended the 400 feet down to our entry point. There was no turning back now. Life jackets were donned. We were handed a paddle with which we would maneuver the raft. We entered the water and were given instructions on how to paddle the raft that would be our mode of transport for the day. Jugs of orange liquid equipped all the rafts for our refreshment, if desired. The water  in the river was perfectly safe to ingest though. Something told me that I would find that out for myself sooner than I wanted. 

In those eyes

Your voice comes to me from afar
   floating away
through the cotton of my mind.
Black vibrations that I drift from.

"Are you alright?" I hear muffled
  over and over again.

Where am I?
With floor cool to the cheek
I want to embrace the darkness
just lie here forever.
Forever.

Louder.

The voice becomes clear.
"Are you alright?"
Now I can see you,
  touch you
You are so close.

   Those eyes?
Have I seen them before?
   I am in them
(how can that be?)
Fear wilts in the corners
I smell concern
Confused, I am lost.

Groggy,
Eyes down
What does this mean?
Slowly, slowly.

"Stay there."

Clear as the night sky
as the wind whisks away
yesterday's clouds
You take care of me.

Gentle,
gentle
I can not.
I must not.
Find love in tender touches
They will not be there tomorrow
(will they?)

Then
"How are you?"
Did I hear that?
What? No.
Sigh.
Where am I now...

Home again, home again, jiggety, jig

Ahhhh, I am home. I love road trips, truly I do, but I so love coming home. I will be able to crawl into my own bed tonight and my children their's. No more little feet kicking me in the middle of the night. No more fears of waking up to a puddle at 2AM from my little girlie whose bladder is still growing and learning the art of control. We will eat what we are used to eating (whatever that might be!) and know where everything belongs. I know I will miss the adults in my world at that point, as it is wonderful to have others around to help prepare meals, clean up meals and converse over meals. I love them beyond measure, but my little ones conversations are not always as stimulating as they could be. And they also usually serve to extend dinner towards the hour mark and beyond, if I let it. Which tends to drive me mental at the best of times. Of course I know some adults who are not at the top of the stimulation chain either I guess. Oh well. Without friends and family at the ready, I will have to go back to my other love; my laptop. I return to you my virtual friends and am happy to do so. I bid adieu to the friends and family that stimulated me this past week though. 

   I am grateful for all the sunshine we were offered. The miles that I put on my aching legs appreciate it, as does the reduced glare off my pastie person. Tonight, I will smile with the glow of a week spent in activity and love, as I reflect from the warmth of home and my tub. Cheers, welcome home to me.