Conversations with Grace

Conversations with Grace by Julianne Haycox, ©2020, Köehlerbooks

Conversations with Grace

An Awakening

"We GO, GO, GO—chasing after the day, the night and the 'list'. The lists are all around us.

They are stuck to our planners, refrigerators, dashboards, phones and computers. They are everywhere. These lists take up prime, front-row space in our daily lives and keep us working into the night. Keep working out at the gym more than the next person. Keep buying everything that the 'it girl' is obsessing over. Keep doing what everyone else is doing and what others want us to do so we don't miss out. The words YOU ARE MISSING OUT should be stamped in bold, black ink across every list out there.

I realized that I was missing out when my life took a sharp turn..."
~ Julianne Haycox

Start the Conversation

Anyone relate to this? That you were missing out? That you needed to do more? That you weren't enough? This was so many of us a mere few weeks ago. Chasing lists. Running after our days. Feeling like we could never get ahead because there was always something to do, someone to impress, some task yet to master.

Well guess what? Life has definitely taken a sharp turn for everyone. Shopping malls are closed, as are gyms. The only place to go is the grocery store, but that now feels like a game of Russian roulette—has anyone touched these bananas, picked up this box, or coughed in my vicinity? You might welcome the change in scenery, but find yourself scampering back to the relative safety of your home to resume a vigil on what new drama the world is grappling with this hour. It is a scary time. And no one is immune to it.

But take heart.

There are others who have faced challenging times before, including Julianne Haycox. She is the author of Conversations with Grace and has learned a thing or two over the years. She has dealt with death, loss, and upheaval more than once, and has found grace through the process. And she shares some of that hope in her newest book.

How did she do that? Mostly through letting go of old constructs that no longer served her. She surrounded herself with people who sought to ease her suffering, and in this way found love once more. Love of self, love of life, and an embracing of the miracles that can be found each day, if we but only look for them. It is not necessarily an easy process, but Julianne understands the power found through the journey.

Right now we are all on a journey. Life looks different for each and every one of us across the globe. People are being asked to physically isolate themselves from others in order to protect our collective society. The beautiful part is that so many are going beyond to show their love for others in big and little ways. Governments are working together on all levels to coordinate responses, actions, and relief support. Businesses are changing their production to fill needs on local and nation-wide levels. And everyday people are checking in with friends, family, and neighbours in careful ways (video chats and phone calls help!) to make sure that we are all coping the best we can. It is heartening in a huge way and a reminder that we will all get through this together.

Life is always a journey, but today's course feels more powerful than most. If you find yourself struggling, don't be afraid to reach out to others for a little support. Turn to whatever means of solace helps you through this time, whether that be books, your favourite television shows, or hobbies you can do at home. Maybe now is the time to pick up your own pen and write the story of your journey through this difficult time? Sharing how you cope can be a balm and looking to those who have found a way through to grace in the past—like Julianne Haycox—serves as inspiration for us all.

Stay safe and healthy friends. 

Boekenweek 2020: Rebels and Dissenters

Boekenweek 2020

Rebels and Dissenters

Welcome to Boekenweek 2020! I am pleased to launch the North American leg of this year's Boekenweek celebrations. It is the second year that World Editions has brought the Dutch literary festival to North America and there is plenty to celebrate. Not only are there seven fantastic books in translation on this year's tour, but there are also six bloggers reviewing those books. Make sure to stop by my fellow writer's blogs to see their take on this year's Boekenweek novels.

Boekenweek runs from March 7th through to March 15th, 2020. This year's theme is Rebels and Dissenters. It is apt that Esther Gerritsen's book is therefore one of those books. And I was lucky enough to get a copy of the book to review for this year's Blog Tour.

Roxy

Roxy by Esther Gerritsen, translation by Michele Hutchison, ©2020, World Editions

Originally published in 2014, Roxy has sold over 20,000 copies in the Netherlands. It released to the US market on March 4th and I am sure Esther Gerritsen is waiting to see the response to her gripping novel. With a protagonist whom you don't know what to expect from, Roxy is the perfect image for this year's theme of Rebels and Dissenters.

The novel opens with middle-of-the-night visitors for our main protagonist, 27-year-old Roxy. Her 3-year-old daughter lies sleeping upstairs. Middle of the night visitors never bode well, usually only mean one thing, especially when they are police officers. And Roxy is correct when she assumes it means her husband has died. While you might assume the novel to come is about grief and the process of it, Gerritsen throws in a twist that throws Roxy off and has her coming unhinged—her husband died in a car accident in a compromising position with a woman. While Roxy immediately tries to downplay the circumstances, it is no good. Her husband and his intern were found naked in a car together. Cue the unravelling.

Death is enough for any one person to deal with, but throw in infidelity and you've got a whole lot more to process. And as Roxy begins to process that, we begin to see a bigger picture of who she is, the choices she has made in the past, and how her underlying instabilities might be enough to see her come completely undone.

It calls for a road trip with unlikely companions; her husband's assistant, the babysitter, and her daughter. Roxy is running from grief, from life, from responsibilities—but she just can't shake them. You never can. As her reckless behaviour escalates, it looks like this rebel might implode. Or maybe she already has and is just coming back around again? It is a bumpy ride for sure and it's hard to know where it will end for Roxy or her companions. But there is definitely far more than just a grief journey going on in this novel. Roxy bucks the 'poor widow' motif and it is hard to understand where she will go from there. When you are barely holding onto reality on a good day, a major catastrophe is enough to make things untenable everywhere. But is she that much different from her road trip companions? Is her reaction that much different from anyone else's?

Give Roxy a chance and you just might be surprised by how drawn in, and repulsed, you are by Gerritsen's heroine. Michele Hutchison does an excellent job of translating Gerritsen's unbalanced characters into ones you can understand and relate to, and also be shocked by. It is a bumpy ride, so hold on.

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The Darkness that Divides Us

The Darkness that Divides Us by Renate Dorrestein, translation by Hester Velmans, ©2019, World Editions

Another rebel in the making is 6-year-old Lucy. She lives in the draughty old rectory on the village green, and her mother is different than other mothers. Her mum dresses in black, reads tarot cards to the local women, and is sought after by the local men. They live with the Luducos; two bachelors of indeterminate age and vocation, who no one seems to know much about. None of them tend to leave the house and an air of mystery surrounds them all. But feisty Lucy is a magnet for the other children in the housing development. Her magnetism changes in tone as the novel progresses though.

We are given a glimpse into the future fate of Lucy in the opening pages. She is brutally bullied by the local kids and they can't seem to get enough of tormenting her. It wasn't always that way though. Lucy has an indomitable spirit that draws people in. Like her mother, she enchants people, but she too is different. And while she starts as a leader amongst the children, a fateful event quickly divides them all. The other children still can't help but be attracted to her, but the attention shifts to a darker tone, one that none of them seems capable of breaking.

Renate Dorrestein presents the story in three parts; Lucy's life at age 6, age 12, and age 18. The first section is narrated by the other children in the village. They take in Lucy and her strange family, and then the tragic events that unfold. Their loyalty sways when Lucy becomes numb, but she is always a focus of their attentions. Only it changes from adoration to dismay, and then that attention becomes downright vicious.

By the second section—Lucy at age 12—she herself is the narrator. Where the other children try to coax by their favourite playmate by any means possible, Lucy herself is unravelling. She feels like she deserves all the anger and sorrow that comes her way. As the reader, you slip inside her head to see her personal torments and can't help but feel for the outcast child. Events whisk them away, but the shame remains and Lucy can't shake it, no matter where she lives. By the time we reach the last section though, Lucy is 18 and is ready to face the demons she has battled with for so long. Demons that have kept her apart from everyone.

I for one was rapt throughout the journey. Hester Velmans does an excellent job in translation, as evidence by my devouring the book in short work. You want to know what makes a rebel? Sometimes you have to look behind the scenes and Dorrestein holds by the curtain for us to see. A great read in my opinion.

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While these are my takes on a couple of excellent books in translation, there are other stops on the blog tour. Be sure to visit them all this week to see their take on these books and the others in the second World Editions blog tour celebrating Boekenweek. Pick up a copy of one or all of these books to join in the literary celebrations all week.

Veel leesplezier! Happy reading!

Schrödinger's Dog

Schrödinger's Dog by Martin Dumont, translation by John Cullen, ©2020, Other Press

Loss is a difficult topic for people to read about. Grief is messy and hard, and full of emotions that many don't know how to deal with. When you mix loss of spouse with critical illness of a child, the result might seem more than anyone can bear, but Martin Dumont handles it honestly in his debut novel Schrödinger's Dog.

Yanis is a single parent. His wife died in a car accident almost twenty years ago, after a serious illness. He was left with a young boy—Pierre—whom he devoted his life to. But now there is something wrong with Pierre and Yanis doesn't know how to fix it. He can avoid the issue, like he did with his wife when she was ill, but putting Pierre inside a box doesn't stop the cancer that ravages his body. Time is racing and bringing up a grief that Yanis didn't even know he had. But the box is open and can no longer be closed.

Does something exist if we don't look at it? That is a theory of quantum mechanics that Physicist Erwin Schrödinger proposed in 1935; that if you put a cat in a box with a potential poison, until you observe it, the cat simultaneously may be alive or dead. It is more complicated than that, but also simpler. It boils down to observation. Is something real if it is not directly observed? That is the story that Dumont plays with in his poignant novel.

A theory exists that Yanis' wife committed suicide. He never fully contemplates it, thus gives no life to the supposition. As Pierre's health declines, he refuses to see the signs. But can he create an alternate world for his son regardless of the reality that comes with his illness? This is something many people who have faced serious illness wish for, but the box is sadly fallible. Looking in the box or not does not change the outcome. But the story itself is yours to write.

Dumont does a lovely job of exploring loss, grief, and the emotional challenges that come with it in Schrödinger's Dog. For a slim novel, it packs a punch worth reading. 

Real Life

REAL LIFE: A Blog Tour with World Editions

Real Life by Adeline Dieudonné, Translated by Roland Glasser ©2019, World Editions

"At home there are four bedrooms: one for her, one for her little brother Sam, one for her parents, and one for the carcasses."

This is where Real Life starts. At least that is where the story begins in Adeline Dieudonné's stunning debut novel. And funny enough, it wasn't until I reached the end of the book that I noticed that the main protaganist in Real Life doesn't have a name. The narrative is written in first person, thus remains nameless throughout the book. This is telling, as her voice is poignant to the reader, but silent in her real life. Make no mistake though. She orchestrates her outward silence, all while working hard to create a better life for the only person she truly cares about—Sam. But silence comes with a cost.

Adeline Dieudonné

It is not only the narrator who remains nameless in Dieudonné's novel. Her weak and ineffectual mother is referred to simply as an amoeba; spineless and without form or creativity. Her father—a raging, brute of a man intent on pain—also gets no additional title. Even neighbours whom she forms a loose bond with only get the titles of Feather Girl and Champion. They are both adrift in their lives and only represent a means to a way out; through idyllically floating above life or dabbling in sexual escape.

Aside from Sam, the only other characters who earn titles are Monica, Professor Pavlović and his wife Yael.

Names. What do they mean and represent? 

For our narrator, she names things she loves and respects the most; her once innocent brother, a neighbour who gives her the initial spark to fight to change her life, her teacher who gives her the tools to make a difference, and his wife whose strength to stand up to violence—and the price she paid for it—all represent the best of who she wants to be. Those names are hard-earned and deserving in that vein of thought. Conversely, the decided lack of labels represent the holes our narrator sees herself needing to climb out of.

Dieudonné paints a world where family relationships are complicated, violence is endemic, and the choices we make shape everything. Make the right choice and rise above the rabble or, conversely, be destined to mediocrity or worse. Education is key. As soon as Monica's worth is spent—she gives the narrator the key to escape with the story of Marie Curie—she disappears from the story. Her role is noteworthy though, as Monica's spark, her inspiration, begins the possibility of going back and changing what the future might look like. The keys are in maintaining your innocence (Sam), hard work (Professor Pavlović), dedication (Yael), and a little insight (all herself), that she better understands the path. The trick is knowing which path to take and which parts should remain in place. Sometimes a life or death decision.

Of course, that is only my take on the book. I tried not to let in too many spoilers, but just know that I enjoyed it in its darkness and light, its violence and redemption. I happen to know that a few other people have read the book too and have insight on Real Life. Time for some blog hopping to visit the other bloggers taking part in the World Editions blog tour! If you get the chance, make sure to see what Jamie Wong, Debi Lantzer, Meredith Smith, and Kayla Whitter think of Real Life.

Even better, grab a copy yourself and let me know what YOU think.

Holy! | Giveaway Done, but Wait... Do you Want More?

Drum roll please!

And the winner is....

Marianna Ballard!!!!

Congratulations to Marianna. She has won a copy of Everywhere Holy by Kara Lawler. I hope you enjoy the book Marianna and that it brings you some inspiration and a measure of peace. We could all use the reminder to slow down and see the beauty and grace around us a little more often. Kara has a way of helping you look for it. Enjoy!

Future Giveaways?

Did you get a chance to enter the contest? Would you like more chances to win more books in the future? Let me know, as I often have publishers and publicists willing to contribute giveaway copies of books to my readers. Let me know what books appeal to you and I will keep my eyes open for them.

Have a great weekend Friends!