A New Day

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Saturday's Email of the Week: Can the Funny Bone Cure the Common Cold?

Saturday's Email of the Week

It's Saturday and I am still sick. Just a cold mind you, but snotty as ever & its been almost a week now. I wouldn't mind so much, but with a lower than usual energy level the house has taken a toll. Confetti litters the living room floor, remnants from the snowflakes that now hang gaily on the window above. Counterspace is hitting max load in the kitchen, almost too much for this poor soul to bear. I don't even dare look at the kid's playroom.

groan...

But I shall ignore it all a little longer, as the girls head to roll and tumble the last of the morning away. I myself will see if I can sweat out the last of my germs while I am at it. And despite thinking that all the emails that I received this week were not worthy to share, upon second look there are a few nuggets in there that offer a smile or two. Actually there were three from a certain blogger friend of mine that all made me smile. She even got a spotlight on a community poetry blog that has been rocking the web as of late. The one that I am most interested in though, holds some links to a story that she promises will touch my heart. I can't wait! Plus there was a cute animated advent calendar from a distant aunt, a notice for a new writing contest (Canadians only!) that I am mulling over, updates from clients and a barrage of emails regarding Christmas drinks with my book club. What to choose though?

Well, this one from my aunt got a giggle. Hope you have a great weekend!

~~~

Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane ... but only a high school diploma to fix one ... a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.

After every flight ... UPS pilots fill out a form ... called a 'gripe sheet' ... which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems ... document their repairs on the form ... and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way ... UPS is the only major airline that has never ... ever ... had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

*

P: Test flight OK ... except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

*

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

*

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

*

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground..

*

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

*

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

*

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

*

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.

*

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

*

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

*

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

*

P:Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

*

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

*

And the best one for last

*

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Friday, December 2, 2011

NightTime

Day after day

Tapping words for others

Happy, busy, I portray

(yes, the right answer)

But as the sun sets

Time crawls

Walls hum

and the dark

turns a cold shoulder

to this moment’s passage

Alone

Life is a gift

so they say

Make of it what you wish

you pray

This

Ideology

Must
End

Well, that was 55 words

written about time

so I guess I am tipping my hat

to Patti & G-Man

tonight

Monday, November 28, 2011

Mango Delivery

As I left the hostel behind, I swung my pack onto my back for the last time on the road. Keetmanshoop was a small town and acted only as a short rest stop for me. Time marched on and so must I. There was now less than two weeks left of my African Adventure, so every moment was precious. I had no time left to play idle tourist, when there was a finite amount of time left to get back to Cape Town and squeeze in a quick final visit with relatives. It was time to move on.

Sadly, when I evaluated the last of my funds, I found that a train trip back to Cape Town, or even Springbok for that matter (where a cousin lived), would be too dear for my pocketbook. My options were limited. So putting trepidation aside, I decided to try my hand at hitchhiking once more. My spiritual renewal in Swakopmund had refueled my faith in the fates again, so I set my mind to the end goal. I crossed my fingers that I wouldn’t run into any rides reminiscent of my last hitchhiking fiasco. Or worse, for that matter.

So with a prayer to my angel wing-man, I turned from the train station and headed out to the highway. I couldn’t help but pull out the camera to take a quick snap of my beat-up, dusty old pack that had seen thousands of miles pass under it. There wasn't much left of it or in it, besides the thin orange and brown polyester sleeping bag and an assortment of even thinner clothes. It was hard to believe that I would be hanging it up soon. Even harder to think about leaving this beautiful land, that I still felt like I was only just beginning to know. When I thought of the family and friends that I would soon see, I was spurred on to action though. I slid my camera back into my pack, just as a big rig approached. I stuck out my thumb and the truck slowed to a stop. This was it, I thought to myself, as I swung up into the cab.

And as the truck lumbered back up to speed, I met Mango.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Saturday's Email of the Week: First Dates

Saturday's Email of the Week

Its Saturday. And I feel like torturing myself today, so am going to share some of what I got up to last night. You see, I went on a date yesterday. Ooooh aaaaah! I know - wow. pffft

Well, I fussed about what to wear. I donned makeup & even let my girls dictate that I wear lipstick. I own the stuff, but have to admit that it doesn't get a lot of "face time". Har, har, bad pun. If you know me though, it just usually doesn't happen. But last night, you better believe it did! Oh, and I even put on a pair of pantyhose. For my dear gentlemen readers, I am pretty sure you designed the crazy things, as they are really quite the uncomfortable item, if you have to wear them for any period of time. Sure they help to aid as a tummy tuck if necessary or hide less than smooth legs, but really! Anyway, thank God I noticed that I had a run in them when I got home. I am sure I could have laughed through that at the time, but once home they were Off & then GONE! But, I must note that I did opt for them for the affair.

So we set a date, picked a location to meet and right off the hop, the location wouldn't work. You see date night has to work around my kids, first and foremost. I had arranged for them to be at a gymnastics outing that was a 3hr affair, therefore I had time constraints. The first restaurant of choice required reservations or a time slot that didn't work with my child are arrangements. Damn, this dating stuff is hard work! But the crux of the story is that this my friends was a first date. In fact, my first date in a good long time. And you know what? It was darn awkward! Lord, I felt weird. Essentially it was a blind date, so we had to try and get through the " Hi, nice to meet you" phase. shake hands here. Then what to order and what to talk about and ...

yeah, it was just weird. But I can now lay claim to a first date. And no, there was no mad passionate kiss that swooped me off my feet at the end of it, in case you were wondering. Suggestions were made to chat again, but I am wondering about that whole spark factor. Bah! I wish there was an easier way. Anyone on here single? Got any single friends in the Canada region? Kind of a big place, being the 2nd biggest country in the world and all, but I have been known to go on a road trip or two. So what have I learned from all this?