letting go...

I am so spent.

gritty eyes not willing 

to look forth into

 the day any more.

how many years

 until I can do the fist pump

to the bus stop on

the first day of school?

Not today, yet.

Nor tomorrow at my guess,

but perhaps I will

by the last day of class.

^^^

Hey, what the heck. This Haiku-esque poem counts as enough for the night.  Both my babies started school for the first time today. My little white lie was that I was excited for them and that was why moisture was dripping off my chin. They don't need to know that this is another stop on the grief journey for me,

but I will survive...

I have already.

The school bus brought them home at the end of the day.

Together.

It will take them to school on their next day

and the day after that

and after that...

Labour Day

Tis Monday; Monday September 6th or Labour Day in North America. One day before Tuesday September 7th or the first day of school for my babies. Both of them. ACK! Oh, I know that most of you lovely people have been there and done that. Knowing that you all survived does help me to keep myself together today. I have to admit that I have been flitting around pretty constant though. We made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies this morning. I have chicken thighs in the crock pot. I have a roast beef in the oven for dinner tonight. I also have more chicken marinating for dinner later in the week. Yesterday I made spaghetti sauce and meat loaf. The spaghetti sauce will be going to my friend's house  who is recovering from her surgery last week (a little has been saved for us for a meal as well). I have cleaned lunch bags, counters and done several loads of laundry today. Can you tell that I am a little anxious? Nah!

I have double checked bus routes and schedules. I plan to drive the kids to school tomorrow, but just might let them come home on the bus. I am comfortable enough with my nervousness to rebuff all the suggestions that I should relax and put the kids on the bus right off. Not going to do it. Nope. With three school amalgamating into one, I just don't think that Day 1 of school will be 100% smooth. We did  have a brief stop and visit to their class rooms on Friday, meeting T's teacher en route. I feel better, but I don't think it will hurt for me to take them tomorrow. Because realistically you know it is all about me. Yes, I realize that my darling children will be the ones attending school. I am the one that is releasing care of my most precious possessions to complete strangers though. No, I do not think of them as possessions, but they are my life. I am their only parent and I think that I am just having a hard time releasing care. I am used to being the be all and end all of their worlds. This is a bigger step into the wide world of their life outside of mine. Yes, that is it. They are growing up. sigh...

Right now though I am still needed. Elbow pads are requested for a bit of bike riding so I must go. My babies still need me today. I need them more than they realize, so must go.

The Beauty of Reflection

I am still a little speechless. The Beauty of Reflection; So wonderful on so many levels. The smile on my face and in my heart speaks volumes to me. To give you some idea as to what I am talking about, gaze into the beautiful sunset above. It is a special place for a special someone who has honoured me today. Marilynn at Celebrating a Year has a beautiful retreat space that she had the pleasure to escape to not once, but twice this past summer. From her words and pictures, I understand why it is a piece of heaven for her. She has chosen an image of this place, that is dear to her heart, to honour myself and a few others with some accolades. It was not something that was handed to her with strings attached to pass it along. Not that there is anything wrong with awards of that kind, but she just offered blessings because she felt like it. No voodoo or superstitions to befall anyone here. She was revelling in the community that she has experienced here in the blog-o-sphere and wanted to share and give back. To be included in her list really touched me and made my day. Marilynn always has lovely pictures to admire on a daily basis, as well as some stunning poetry to share. She even graces us with some exquisite mandolin music on occasion, played by her own hand. Wow! People like her push me to challenge myself with new styles and forms of expression.  Her award on just any old ordinary day, just made mine. I  too appreciate all the kindness that have been shown me from some of you brilliant people. So I send out a huge thank you to Marilynn today. I like your corner of the world and am thrilled that you like mine. If you are interested in hearing some of her music check out her my space page and be treating to mandolin AND bandolin playing at its finest. 

~~~~~

Happy Sunday All! 

Just one more quick note. Another shining star in my world is a bathroom that is resembling one again. While not completely done, I do have a toilet on the main floor again. And it even seems to flush properly again. Wheee! Life is good. Hope your long weekend brings you all you desire too! Now, at the magical hour of 9:21 I think I will retire. Two late nights with a dear friend has left me too pooped to pop. There are a couple of books that are calling my name, but my pillow threatens with sweet slumber as well. Good night...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Boys are Back

It is just an ordinary day in my world. A Friday. The kids are in bed. I sit on my couch. The dishwasher hums in the background. A friend is coming to join me for the weekend. She will arrive this evening, but right now life is just life. Today has had its ups and downs, same as any other. This song reminded me on so many days that for all the ups and downs that life holds, really it all amounts to a day in passing. It's all your state of mind. 

So today I share a video from one of my favourite bands; Great Big Sea. These boys are from Newfoundland, Canada and are a hell of a lot of fun to see live. I just found out they will be in my home town in a few months for another concert and am sorely tempted to splurge out on tickets again. Anyone want to join me for a night of smiles and bouncing?

Pray

Praying

that You can just hold on for

one more moment,

one more day.

You cling to the rock of your discontent

Waiting,

waiting until the weekend arrives

to free you from the vestiges

of a life lived in limbo

on the granite face of time

stopped for none.

***

FLASH, yup it's Friday. 

Well just about and close enough in my world. 

There is 55 words that I swirled onto the page

to try my hat at G-Man's fun. 

Have a great weekend and 

Happy Labour Day