Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ghost Rhythms

The ring leader was missing tonight.
He was not there to beat his drum.
He did not share his gentle smile.
His rhythmic tones set me adrift,
   but no I cannot cry.

My rhythm man did not join the samba.
He did not stamp a conga groove.
He was not part of the percussion.
His agile hands failed to set the mood,
   but no I did not sigh.

Men and women in a circle
all with hearts so pure to share.
Came together with a purpose;
Making music with a flair;
   and yes your spirit still did fly!

Dear, sweet friend
with smooth, pure vibes.
You have raised me up
on days low in faith's  ride.
   I drum for you.

Tonight 
and every night
that the rhythm 
trickles
through chaos' pores
I drum for you.

I cannot walk down life's paths alone
when my friend's heart
 holds quiet
my sodden tears and fears.
I drum for you.


I drum for you,
 to come together.
I drum for me,
to release.
I drum for the world
to make it better
I drum.
I pray.
I drum.
~~~~~

This little jem is from week 18 at Jingle's poet's rally. 
She has it going every week, so you can stop by and check out some of the fantastic poets she has found here. I nominate Megzone for this week as she comes up with something different all the time and makes it work! Thanks for visiting.






Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Enkosi means Thank You

In Port St. John’s, I discovered Africa. A new Africa, that I had not seen yet. A black Africa, where white faces were a minority in visibility and actual numbers. We entered the Transkei. I had been forewarned of going into the district from relatives and white faces we met in our travels. We were told not to stop, pick up hitch hikers, drive on dirt roads and God forbid an accident occurred and we hit something; again the message was to NOT STOP! For anything. It was dangerous and full of unrest, was the message that was drilled into us. With some trepidation, we did stop though. And for that I will be forever grateful.
Port St John’s is on the coast of the Indian Ocean in the middle of Pondoland. It is considered to be a traditional black homeland and as such, has a very limited white population. The language was another new one to me, so communication with the locals was limited to sign language and what little English they could get by with. Even with that, I felt the difference here though. For two weeks we made the area our home, and it was a beautiful, lush and peaceful place. We stayed in a hostel that was five kilometers from a beautiful beach, full of sand and shells. The town had a traditional market, “Take-Aways” aplenty, a more “formal” supermarket and a bank, if you were willing to stand in the long and very slow line. My van mate Taro even discovered that the Town Hall played movies and he attended with a few local youths that he befriended. They became fast friends and spent several days together just doing and being whatever they liked and required.
I found a measure of quiet, that I sorely needed to recharge my tattered soul. I made new friends and acquaintances.  I discovered a new faith in the country that struggled with its identity after so many years of apartheid and unrest. It was a simple place steeped in tradition. Labelled rustic by some, I found it quaint and it stole my heart. Many words flowed from me as I sat  by candle light. A hike to a waterfall, spawned a longer hike along the Wild Coast Trail. For four days we hiked through back country. We skirted deep, dark chasms, jumped from boulders to rocks, waded through tall, waving fields of grasses and discovered magical streams to take the sting out of burning, sun-baked skin. This was topped off by spending the last night in a traditional rondavel with a Xhosa family that fed us in the manner that they were accustomed to. We slept on the ground in our sleeping bags surrounded by stray dogs and scattered chickens. We were fed rice, samp (beans), mussels  and fish from the ocean we had just been hiking beside. We were steeped in the smiles of the locals. The children seemed to have such an amazingly pure energy and joy of life that was contagious. You could not help but wave and carry on the smiles that they handed out so freely. Those smiles buoyed me up and the simplicity around me made me appreciate all I had and knew. It was a far cry from our previous stops in Port Elizabeth, Addo National Park and East London and that was a good thing.
*Enkosi means Thank You in Xhosa, one of South Africa's Eleven official languages. I noted that was the only word I picked up in Xhosa in a post card written home
Here is a link to Miriam Makeba singing the Click Song in Xhosa.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Normal

   An epiphany of a sort has been creeping in this week. Perhaps it was highlighted by the loss of a sweet woman in the blog-o-sphere. This woman brought back many images of me and my family in my darker days. She battled cancer and sadly succumbed to the disease last week. I follow a few blogs that were touched by this woman and her family's plight and many candles have been lit for them. I too walked the chaotic path of cancer within my family unit and was overwhelmed by its power. That time period will be with me always and I feel deeply and with such sorrow for any that have to walk that path. My cancer journey was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, but the grief journey that followed was even harder. I was shocked at the amount of work that it takes to process grief and am often still surprised by the knock and reminders that will live with me forever about these difficult days. I would never have believed how many tears could be shed, but I somehow survived and face a new day every day of my life. 
   What has struck me this week is something different though. Weeks before my husband was diagnosed, we had just had our first child. Ten months before that we celebrated our love by tying the proverbial knot (no need to do the math -she was our honeymoon stage gift!). Our days before that were filled with wedding planning and home renovations to our newly purchased home in a new town. For a period of about five years, I think that I hit a ridiculous number of stressors (good and bad) on the scale of stress factors. I seemed to only be able to function if we were going through some change or transformation. When Brad died, a big piece of me went with him. The death of my cousin a few months following, was just another in a long line of stressors that I just could not deal with any more. I caved and leaned on whatever supports that I could. Other friends and family disappeared at that time, but time refused to stop. I held on treading water and with help have moved through a seemingly insurmountable amount of carnage. And now...

   Now, I am normal.

   This week I looked at myself and noted that I have nothing going on in my life. I am working part-time and am happy with that. I am writing in this blog and working on two books when I can. I do yoga, participate in a drum circle and am part of a book club. I have two beautiful daughters that I love more than my life. They give me a reason to get up in the morning and put a smile on my face when I am not scolding them for some little thing that is normal for children their age. I have friends that enjoy my company and family that cares about what I feel and do. My worries and stresses are the everyday bland kind of stress that everybody goes through. My grief is still mine, but it does not rule me anymore. I face the day and the worst of it could be deciding what to make for dinner, scheduling a vet appointment for the cat, or making sure the bills are paid on time. All normal. Normal. Wow. You probably do not understand why this affects me so, but it is an epiphany that I noted for me this week. I am just like everyone else. I can shed tears for others today and do, but my life is okay just the way it is. And I think I like it.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Monday Musings

Your Comments are Extraordinary Award

   Thank you to Jingle for again handing out some most lovely awards at her site. She really is a kind and generous lady, that I am thrilled to have met. Well, Monday is usually the day that I whisk you off to Africa, but I was out all day. I did manage to get some laundry done and a few flowers planted, but somehow I managed to survive without being hooked up to the computer for a long span today. Whatever shall we do about that? Hmm...

Well, perhaps I will just share some of the things that  were a part of my weekend that I love in my life.


My gardens and flowers that bring me many smiles.


My first born flowery, nature child of my heart with a purity of soul that lifts me up and reminds me that life is worth living.



And that little imp that steals my soul with her smile. I cannot tell you how much I love my gift of spirit that is my second daughter.

~~~

These are some images that were a part of my weekend past. 
How was yours?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Princess Party

Princess participants
too pooped to pop.
Partied at the palace,
now play pushups
on pillows plump.

Please don't come a knocking
until nap time fades away.
Gosh! It seems
 I spoke too soon.
The girls arise again.

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