The Kite Runner

The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, © 2003, Anchor Canada

In 1975, Amir is 12-years-old. He lives in an affluent neighbourhood in Kabul with his father Baba, their servant Ali, and his son Hassan. Both Amir and Hassan's mothers are gone; Amir's during his childbirth and Hassan's fled as soon as he's born. The boys are a year apart, but despite Ali and Hassan being servants, Baba treats both boys like sons. Much to Amir's occasional annoyance.

While Amir and Hassan lead a mostly charmed life, despite their difference in stations, their world is on the brink of catastrophic change. In 1973, the monarchy is overthrown. Russians are set to overthrow the government and turn Afghanistan into a war zone. Everything is thrown into question. But it is the vile act of bullies after a local kite fight that is the ultimate act that challenges Amir and Hassan's friendship. A friendship now earmarked for failure.

As Hosseini weaves his tale, questions of friendship and loyalty are held up for inspection. Can true friendship exist between different castes of people (Amir is Pashtun and Hassan is a lower caste Hazara)? What would you be willing to do for someone? The biggest question raised though is can you go back and make things right when you feel you have failed someone in the past.

Amir carries the weight of his disloyalty to his friend long after him and Baba flee the war in Afghanistan for the more peaceful climes of California. A phone call many years later gives him the opportunity to go back in time and make a change though. Is he strong enough to face the awful memories that plagued him from the fateful day of the kite fight in 1975? Can he repair the damage done?

If you haven't read this book already, it is well worth the read. You won't find easy answers to your questions, but you just might find that "there is a way to be good again." Forgive yourself your demons and dive in to Hosseini's excellent first novel.

After Midnight

~ click 

The light turns on.
Wind howls outside my window
 - pain
The clock strikes,
after midnight?
Heedless,
the words march on
demand their ink on the page

Sleep!

the mind cries,
but when the light 
is extinguished
the words 
keep marching on...

~ click

Image Source: RGB stock, saavem

Dancing Flames

everyone loves fire

like moths to a blazing sun

watch the dancing flames

ghosts

The ghosts come from my closet
the door swings open wide
voices fill the airwaves.
I must take it in stride

I didn't know the door was shut
I never knew it slammed
upon so many faces
til suddenly I'm deprogrammed

Now time's a funny object
It's given me some gifts
I must decide which are welcome
and which ones to set adrift

Do they all come wrapped in paper
present everlasting truth
or do some hide secret messages
to uncover like a sleuth?

As history slides still further
I feel it yet inside
it's left a permanent mark
the scars I can't abide

Doubt crosses many borders
I grapple one on one
with ghosts who stand in front of me
and wish this had never begun

Happy Memories

Homework assignment:

Try to recall the day last year when you were happiest. Why then? What were the circumstances? Did it happen because of something you did, or did it just happen? When I asked someone this question the other day they said, "I can't remember the day but I can remember the hour very well. Is that good or pathetic?"

   ~ Jonathan Carroll

Last year...

Is he referring to this past year, 2014, or rather the year before? I suppose I can take licence in answering that, so define it as 2013, as I think of 2014 as this year. Or is it the year past? Hmm... I fear I am dithering though and shall just get on with the task at hand.

I slipped into a new decade

So what did 2013 hold? This is an interesting challenge for my memory. The biggest, most obvious thing must have been my birthday in July. I turned 40, but the date held far less fireworks than I imagined. The number came at me like a bulldozer trying to run me down, but after a few weeks, didn't have the punch I had expected. There were celebrations with friends and family, cake, and a trip to Sunfest with my girls for a taste of international music and arts. But it didn't make my heart stop. And I don't know if it contained my happiest moments to be truthful.

What else happened in 2013? At the time, I was pretty happy to meet my boyfriend's children in August. We had dated for what seemed like plenty long enough, but there were always reasons why we couldn't be introduced. When the date finally came, it was sprung on me at the last minute. I still had time to get nervous as all get-out though. To my delight, they happily liked me. And when I finally got over the fear of being the dreaded "other woman" I had hope that we could be one big happy family. We spent many happy moments together later that summer and fall, catching fish, carving pumpkins, and creating snowforts. The kids all got along better than I could have dreamed. The future looked bright. But as circumstances have since changed, I no longer have much to crow about over those particular memories. They sadly get lost amongst questions and lies.

Well then, where else did joy lie that year? There were plenty of smiles and laughter anytime I got together with my sister and her kids. And if I think about it, I know that my happiest moment was not a when, but with a whom.

2013 Clovermead Bee Beard Competition

Together with my sister, we went to Clovermead to see their annual bee beard competition. We hit the Ontario Science Centre in the spring, and gathered maple syrup, easter eggs and Autumn leaves; all together as a family unit. In those moments I felt most myself and at ease. I didn't have to be anyone else to impress. I wasn't required to be on my best behaviour. I could smile and laugh without fear of reprisals or ill effects. A pure love existed which didn't judge me, nor my actions. It wasn't big and spectacular, but all those moments were filled with the best of me and the best of what I hope to share with the world.

So I cannot say what my happiest moment of 2013 was. In fact, in 2014 I would probably have the same response. The "when" lay in the people whom I had the privilege to be with. My control of it had more to do with the fact that I chose to be with them. My family. My sister. Our love. Unconditional and joyful. And in recognizing that, I give thanks that I am blessed not with one sole happiest moment, but rather a happiest feeling when I am privileged to spend time with those I love most.

What is your happiest moment of the past year?