The Gift

I have oceans surrounding me
   on my pillows.
Salty hair catching
   love thoughts from cheeks
Beautiful shadows
pass briefly through
day dreams

   I am living.
   I have lived.
   They are gone...

If I blink,
will I miss them?
Thoughts and cares
   given and gone.
Do I value enough?
Have I cherished enough?
Every tear drop
   a gift from yesterday's song

A passing gives us stop.
The stop offers a dawn
For all the crushing waves
   light flickers
Even dark
  a dark of nowhere
The dark is not complete
  sparkle, fizzle, sputter
Somewhere a gray dawn

A hand emerges
  dim
There.
Accepting, offering
My unasked for gift.
A screamed for need
Silent eyes begging for mercy
  And you were there.

Betty

Life
Happens, flows
  Goes.

Does it matter what we learn?
We all die.

Spirits exist
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.

Hug. Smile
Goodbye.

Too Many Sorrows

   Tomorrow night I meet with the ladies from my book club. This is a relatively new experience for me. I have never been a member of a book club before. In fact there are very few clubs I have really belonged to at all. Oh sure, when I was a kid I took swimming lessons, joined brownies and was on a baseball team, but there are not too terribly many groups I have joined as an adult. As I am really much more social now, I suppose this is a bit of a shame. I have been a product of my generation  and perhaps pushed by the time period of my life. Who has time to think of me or I, when there are babies and young children that are needing one's attention.  Not to mention the challenges of a life threatening disease descended upon one's household. Certainly no time for me, but I am slowly working on that. Not that I have put my children out on the street or even find myself out living the high life every night. Far from it, but I have carved out a few niches just for me. No "Mommies" allowed (although most of us have children). Just women with the common interest of books and companionship. It is very refreshing. It also helps that nibblies and bevvies are offered as well. One can never get too highbrow for yummy nibbly bits.

   So tomorrow we shall be discussing a book by Alice Munro entitled "Too Much Happiness". I did review the first story in the book a while back in my blog. It peeked my interest. I have to say though that the rest of the book left me feeling a little dark. I have not read many of Alice Munro's previous books. Truth be told, I can only say that I remember having read one other book of hers, but can not truly remember much aside from that it was also a collection of short stories. The present  book was the winner of the 2009 Man Booked International Prize. That means it must be good, right?  Well, I am not sure, but I am intrigued to hear the critiques tomorrow evening.

   "Too Much Happiness"  is a collection of ten stories that in my opinion are all on the dark side. While the opening story "Dimension" holds a glimmer of hope for rebirth, this feeling does not necessarily carry through the rest of the stories. The stories are generally told from a first person's perspective, mostly from that of a woman (aside from Face and Wood). Many of the characters have lived through great personal struggles (death- Dimensions, Deep Holes & Free Radicals, divorce - Fiction, disfigurement - Face). While sometimes there is closure for the character at the end of the story (Marlene finally faces a childhood tragedy in Child's Play, Sophia has all her heart's desires about to come true in Too Much Happiness) more often they are left with more questions (why did this all happen in Wenlock's Edge, what direction is life headed next in Wood). There is  personal struggle abounding in the stories on these pages, many that are life changing (Sally discovers that after the loss of her husband and estrangement from her son, she can begin again in Deep Holes), some that are just recounted as a blip in time (a woman recounts working for a dying man in her youth and the intricacies of human relationships that unfold that summer in Some Women). What I find lacking is any excuse to smile. I do not always need a happy ending or humour abounding, but life is not all tragedy and gloom. Someone asked me if I felt the title pulled the stories together. Interesting thought, but happiness is not illustrated in any of these people's lives. They are all serious and not really asking for our sympathies. They certainly do not want to share any joys. In a word, I feel the book could be titled differently. "Too Many Sorrows", speaks more volumes in my books. Of course I did not write the book and I am not receiving the royalties from it. So hey, what do I know?

  

Sniff... oh whoa is me...sniff

After all the renos have been done and now I can stop to relax, guess what? I have crashed. My eldest suggested  that I should have taken more breaks. She is so smart sometimes. Alas, I did not, knowing that the longer I took to complete said project, the longer I had to deal with the chaos in my living room. So now the living room is complete, but I have a cold. Lovely. Sniffle... A pile of Kleenexes sit beside me and I have been slathering on chapstick, as I was a bit of a mouth breather last night. Pretty picture, I know. So I am going to regale you with something a friend posted on her blog. Here we go...

1. What is your current obsession?
just coming out of a renovation obsession :) Other than that, it is blogland


2. What are you wearing today?
jeans and a comfy red striped hooded sweater. Not feeling overly glamorous today sniffle


3. What’s for dinner?
it was supposed to be the Mandarin for a bday dinner, but I think I have been bumped for being a contaminated soul :(

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
 a birthday present for Miss Ella's birthday - No, wait! gas and a car wash! Gotta love car washes. they are fun!!

5. What are you listening to right now?
I can faintly hear Treehouse from the basement - perhaps Dora?


6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
she has a great sense of humour and needs to believe in herself more. I do!


7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
I kind of like my neighbourhood right now, as my neighbours are absolutely wonderful, but I wish we were closer to the ocean or some other large body of water


8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
sandals and tank tops


9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
South Africa to go visit with relatives and soak up some sun


10. Which language do you want to learn?
hmm, maybe Spanish or a little more french


11. What’s your favourite quote?
I don't really have a favourite quote, but loving kindness is pretty special. How about a metta meditation;
   May I be filled with loving kindness
   May I be peaceful and at ease
   May I be safe from inner and outer harm
   May I be happy, joyfully caring for myself and others


12. Who do you want to meet right now?
the Buckley's man or Fisherman's friend dude


13. What is your favourite colour?
I love red (burgundy really), but also try to appreciate other colours for their strengths (blue -cooling, peace; green - healing; white -peace, healing; purple - higher consciousness)

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
-get a hairstyle that fits your lifestyle and the time that you are willing to offer it (kid friendly!)
-dress to make yourself feel good about yourself. When you feel happy and confident, others will see that too
-ummh round brush?


15. What is your dream job?
Tempting to steal This is an easy one! A writer. yup, gonna do it


16. What’s your favorite magazine?
err I get National Geographic and used to get Martha Stewart Living (which I really liked, but don't tell my aunt), but I also like Yoga


17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
me :), probably not, but I can dream about lobster, king crab....mmmm


18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
nasty track pants


19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
don't follow style icons really


20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
short, edgy, trying not to be to Mommy-ish


21. What are you going to do after this?
maybe see what kind of mess the kids have created in the basement


22. What are your favourite movies?
don't really have a favourite -like PS I Love You & Lord of the Ring Trilogies


23. What inspires you?
friends, my kids


24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
not Mommy blissfully...


25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
coffee usually, but this morning I had an herbal tea for my sniffles (am I milking it yet?)


26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
write, cry, go for walks near running water if I can find it


27. What makes you go wild?
can't think the last time I went wild


28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
http://promiseorthreat.blogspot.com/ - for reality
http://laura-take2.blogspot.com/ -for pics
http://www.ratherbeblogging.com/ - for laughs
http://gardenmama.typepad.com/my_weblog/ - for crafts

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
I love pie. Any kind of pie. I LOVE pie


30. How many tabs are turned on in your browser right now?
three at present

31. Favorite Season?
probably summer, as I can go swimming then (and gardening)


32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
soup, maybe Mr Noodles :) feeling the need for comfort food


33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
try to not see them in your daily life I suppose


34. What are you afraid of the most?
Have to second the notion here;
Something bad happening to one of my kids.


35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
yup, cracked dry lips. Definitely a mouth breather last night. sigh...

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
hugs, especially from my girls


37. A word that you say a lot?
"Eat!", "Stop!"


38. What would you do if you were made President for one day?
I have enough problems being Lord and Master of my house let alone having the responsibility of a country

39. What is that one thing that keeps you going?
My children wake me up in the morning and put a smile on my face when I kiss them to bed at night. Everything in between is just to get me to these points


40. What word drives you crazy when you hear it?
"help" - Not because I mind helping, but when there is no effort put into something on their own behalf.


And now I have a little girl who has been very patient and wants to play a game on the computer. So, consider yourself tagged! Please take a stab at these questions on your own blog. Post a comment letting me know if you do, I'll want to come and see how your answers compare to mine!

Project Friday

So, I lied. There was more painting to be done.

This time I pulled out the big guns though.

I am not messing around this time. It is time to call in the professionals. They work cheap (Bear Paws and juice boxes). I will let you know how it turns out. Not sure how fast they work. If they are anything like their Mother, it may take a while...

:)