Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Bad days help us appreciate the good days

Thanks for the inspiration Corrie. I need this medicine myself today. I am sad, because the lady I was gardening for died last night. She let me into her life and I let them into mine. I have a right to be sad. It is not nice to lose someone. What I have to remind myself of is that this loss is not my loss. No that is not right. I am losing a part of my life, but I do not have to take on the pain of Murray's loss. His life is the loss of spouse to start and it gets much bigger from there. I feel his pain, as I have walked in similar shoes. These are not my shoes today though. They just remind me of my own journey and I remember how painful that time period was. I am not there though. I have so much compassion and empathy, but I have to be able to give space for my own heart to be strong and sure in offering someone else support in grief.I can be sad, but I do not have to relive my worst moments. That is not necessary or helpful at the moment. So here is my words of wisdom to a friend today, that I will listen to again myself.

"We all have our bad days. We all have our issues. They are our issues and are important to us. Allow yourself a bad day and be okay with that. We don't allow ourselves to have down days, whether they are deserved or not. If where you are at right now sucks "It SUCKS!". Don't compare it to anyone else's. Legitimize your own life and your own feelings. You are valid and they are valid. You don't have to have the worst day of anyone ever, you just have to allow that you are not at your best. It is hard to do, but you can feel better for allowing yourself to be. You only have one life to live and it is your life, not anyone else's. Let yourself live it.

I think I might have to CC this to my blog. And listen to my words myself..."

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