Sunday, December 20, 2009

J & G

Start of a story that has been filling my head.

He lies with body jerking and shifting. Sleep surrounds him, but the demons continue to plague his body. Watchers can only guess what images rush through his seemingly racing mind. The image “restful” is not an expression considered, as this tortured soul kicks and shuffles at remembered images under cover of night sleeps. Racing away, legs darting. Eyes snapping back, forth, searching, running. A wish of peace is all that can be put into the ethers, but thoughts do not seem to help this night.

Morning dawns and injustice sits on lips. The world holds more pain than anyone can bear. How can no one see this? We should strive for better. We should get out from under the yoke silently held above us. Do you not see it? Do you not feel it?

He stalks down sidewalks angry that the world can torture people so. People’s delusions hold them back from happiness and enlightenment. Do they not see? Do they not want to see? They do not have the choice. Other eyes hold altered lights. This man’s stride holds the world’s imagined pains in its unforgiving path. He must make a difference. He must save the ones that deserve. He must open all eyes to what we cannot see. His angst weighs heavy. He does not know that he cannot change the world. His own world, but the whole world is more than any one person can bear. The whole world is what he carries on his shoulders though. He grimaces and strains. Anger shouts at you and you and you! The blaze was begun too many years ago though. The spark was unfeeling and uncaring. That injustice of one small soul, carries the torch into tomorrow. Today the direction is you.

What unfeeling hands touched where they should not have? Images can never be erased. Delete! Delete. Oh merciful drug of God, why do images never leave. I am damaged. Always and forever I try to put me back together again, but always I fight against the world. All I want is peace. All I want is to sleep in careful arms. I crave tender arms of love and protection to take away the yesterdays that will not leave me. Do I deserve this? Yes. Grudgingly yes. Assuredly YES! What answers am I to find in the path that was given? It is hard. Tough external shell yields to a need of peace. I am searching, forever searching. Nowhere is peace to be found. I cannot ever recognize it. Desperate am I to find it. Look some more.



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